Explaining Love To A Sergeant
by omegafire17
Summary: Sousuke Sagara and Kaname Chidori: two people who couldn't be any different if you tried. And yet, there was something between the two of them, which was especially obvious to everyone BUT them... until just recently after the events of The Second Raid. Some time after realizing this, Kaname has "issues" trying to get Sousuke to understand love, much less do any of it.
1. Beginning of Summer

**Disclaimer: **Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters

**Rating: **M

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after (at least) the first few chapters.**

* * *

"Finally we're on summer break!" Kaname exclaimed, smiling like a cat.

"Tell me, Kaname, what do people do on summer break?" Sousuke asked beside her as they walked back home. "With the absence of school, and until I'm called away on another mission, I have little idea what to do with myself."

"What do you mean, "what do people do on summer break"!? she said indignantly, rounding on him, only to stop in the middle of a thought. "Wait... you've... never had a summer break before, have you?"

"No" he said, still walking with the same expression. "I can understand the practicality of a 'break' if there is work to do over the time involved, but there is none assigned to us for quite awhile."

She sighed with a sweatdrop. "Well listen, Mr. Sagara" she said with exasperation. "What people do on break is exactly what people do normally: we sleep, we go out and do stuff, and generally live our lives."

"Can you be more specific on those last two points?"

She gave him a flat look, but said nothing as they walked. Then out of nowhere, this came out of her mouth: "Well, perhaps you can come to my apartment and I'll explain a few things." She was taken aback after she said it, but Sousuke's only response was to keep walking, plus "That will be satisfactory; I'll go with you to your apartment."

She felt seriously annoyed, and readied herself to swat him - but decided against it at the last second, sighing with further exasperation. She had to stop doing that; though Sousuke was a lot like a dog, he was particularly difficult to train, because he simply didn't understand 99% of what people meant the way they meant it...

_"No, hitting him is getting both of us nowhere"_ she thought as she walked slightly behind him, looking at the back of his head a lot. _"How can punishment be effective if he doesn't even understand why?"_

She had to do _something_ about that, but first she needed to think about how to approach this.

"Actually, Sousuke, I just remembered" she said quickly, the man in question turning toward her. "I'm a little low on food at the moment, and will need to go shopping. Can you enter my apartment in an hour or so, and wait for me?"

"Of course" he said. "I will await your arrival" he continued, walking off without her, leaving her fist to clench involuntarily for a moment.

* * *

_"What the hell am I going to do about that idiot?"_ she thought in frustration, at the store browsing. _"The very problem I'm trying to solve is exactly what's in the way! That dumbass wouldn't know love if it shot him in the face!"_

She punched the side of a freezer in her anger, drawing odd looks from others. She stood there for a few moments, panting as she tried to control her thoughts; getting mindlessly angry at Sousuke would get them/had gotten them both nowhere, as she thought earlier.

"And yet" she breathed, so softly no one else could have heard her. "It's exactly that dumbass who I've fallen in love with."

She snapped up, her cheeks turning red. That had come much too easily, especially compared to all the other times she'd tried to tell him, and miserably failed for one reason or the other. How on earth had it suddenly become that easily!?

_"And yet..."_ she thought involuntarily. _"It's still true."_

She had no more thoughts or breakthroughs on that front, and continued about her business as usual: getting two heavy bags of groceries in both hands, taking the train back to the area she lived in, slowly walking up to her apartment and setting down the bags to get her key, and STILL she had nothing on what to do about Sousuke.

But she had to, even as she hesitated to put the key into the lock.

_"Mr. Military Terms probably set a trap for intruders"_ she thought vaguely. _"Well, better get it over with-"_

She snapped up, her eyes wide and her breathing heavy. "Military... Terms..." she breathed, barely able to comprehend what had just happened.

She started giggling, then it became outright laughter. She just might have a way to break through that thick-skulled idiot's head, and it couldn't be at a better time!

The door opened in an instant, and Sousuke quickly came out, gun in hand as he searched for possible problems. "What's the reason for your sudden outburst, Ms Chidori?" he demanded evenly, then eventually noticed she hadn't responded. "And why are you still laughing?" he asked, completely baffled in his own way.

She failed to hear or see any of this, and her only thought was _"Look out, Sousuke! I'm gonna get you to understand things if it's the last thing I do!"_. Then she went back to reality, intending to open the door... only to stop and see Sousuke staring at her uncomprehendingly, right in front of her.

They stood there in silence as black dots slowly flitted across the screen, Kaname slowly comprehending what was happening.

"Kaname, please explain why you were laughing" Sousuke said, completely unfazed.

The naive, idiotic question made her anger rise briefly, but she ignored it. "Um, nothing of importance" she said, weakly laughing it off as she bent down to get the groceries. "But to be honest, I was surprised there wasn't a trap sprung on me."

"I had one set, but I knew it was you almost immediately" he said, following her inside. "The weight of your footsteps, accounting for possible variances with groceries, was within acceptable parameters."

_"Of course it was"_ she thought, her face flat as she put away the groceries, her back to him. "You know, most girls are offended if the guy knows their exact weight" she said aloud.

"Why is that?" he asked, the slightest confusion in his tone, making her sigh; he was hopeless, even if there was promise there.

"Because idiot" she continued, "it's like walking on a land-mine: if you step on it, it most likely goes off. If you don't, there's no immediate danger, but you still have to be careful". _"Did I even use that right?"_ she wondered. _"I'm nowhere near as good with this stuff as Sousuke."_

"Interesting, and informative" Sousuke said, making her head snap up at his tone: thoughtful. "I admit I do not understand why a simple question would trigger such an explosive rage, but still, that's the best information I could have gotten about that particular detail. Thank you."

_"It worked?"_ she thought in disbelief, her eye twitching. _"That actually worked?"_

Whatever they were gonna do/say next was interrupted; a beeping from Sousuke's computer, which he immediately opened with a "I have to take this". She looked at him, her emotions mixed... then she smiled slightly, and went to make dinner.

* * *

_Half an hour later_

"Dinner's ready!" she announced, setting a plate full of food by Sousuke. He didn't look at it directly, but his sharp senses knew it was there, and he mindlessly picked at the food as he typed one-handed. "So who was that?" she asked, sitting down at the table.

"A message from Captain Tessarossa" he said, without taking his eyes off his work (though the name nearly caused her to spit-take). "She was expressing her apologies for a misunderstanding and her inappropriate conduct during a routine visit to a port."

'Misunderstanding', 'inappropriate conduct'... those words alone made her suspicious, and her expression matched her feelings. "What did she do?" she asked with an edge.

"Due to an incident with Sergeant Major Mao, the Captain had a drink with alcohol in it, which she was unaware of. The result of which was after a few more incidents, she ended up on the bridge of the ship" he said, then he visibly gulped. "She was partially unclothed, sleepwalking after that, and stumbled upon me."

"Like I'm supposed to believe that was accidental?" she asked, her tone hard. "And I'll bet you were just plain _scared_ when she stumbled in."

"Scared? No, but I was quite mortified" he admitted, looking down for a moment. "And quite relieved when the Captain truly woke up, then left quickly after apologizing profusely."

"Humph" she said, muttering under her breath.

"But she has explained, and it's not a problem" he said, typing a few more keys, then closing his laptop.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, during which she cooled off after a few glances at him. "It was still a problem when you just suddenly left" she said quietly. "I had been worried you wouldn't come back, and went to your apartment, only to find it completely empty. And worse, I had to face someone following me without you-"

"Another assassin?" he asked instantly, his attention focused directly on her. She found it weird and flattering at the same time.

"Well, I thought so" she breathed, remembering. "Maybe it was because your habits rubbed off on me, but I was paranoid, and finally went into a hotel with a complete stranger because I figured out that if this person was watching me, it'd be from up there". Then her expression soured, "But then the stranger got the wrong idea and tried to rape me, so I tazered him... then I changed, and slowly got onto the roof, where I found a guy by the name of- I think it was Wraith?"

The look on Sousuke's face told her everything; but surprise was unexpected. "He must have slacked in his duties" Sousuke muttered to himself, then turned back to her, demanding she continue with expression alone.

"Then, I was attacked by this woman with red eyes" she said, shuddering. "I managed to use my surroundings to block her shots, and get away just long enough to survive, and taze her from behind. I even heard your words about 'no mercy' right before I did so."

"That was very commendable, Kaname" he said, with an actual small smile at the corner of his lips, or she thought it was. "I am impressed."

She blinked several times, blushing. "Well... uh..." she stuttered, suddenly tongue-tied. "Thanks."

He leaned back, then gazed off into space just to her right; the slightest furrowing of his eyebrows told her he was having a bad memory. "What, what is it?" she asked, the blush disappearing instantly.

His eyes closed, and his voice was quiet: "The man who tried to rape you" he said in a hard voice, and he was tense. "A similar thing almost happened to me as well."

She stared at him, not quite comprehending. "Wait, what?"

"There was a woman in Hong Kong who looked almost exactly like you, Kaname" he continued, much to her startled surprise. "Except her clothes were different, her lips were slightly bigger and her facial structure was off. And she seemed inordinately interested in any guy who happened to be nearby, including me. I didn't notice it at the time, but in hindsight-"

"Never mind that, what happened!" she said loudly, her heart thumping with rage.

"Very well: she took me to her apartment, and proceeded to immediately drink alcohol. I was preoccupied, so I didn't pay much attention, but I did notice when she pushed me onto the bed and got on top of me..." he said, trailing off.

She was about ready to physically strike him along with some vicious comment, but his next sentence stopped her cold: "While she muttered things I didn't understand, I kept hearing your words, and seeing your face."

She blinked slowly, halfway through pulling out her paper fan. But still he continued: "That, and many other things, grew to be too much for me; I couldn't take it. So I pushed her off me, and left."

She slowly sat down, staring at him. Sousuke rarely, if ever, opened up like that - and she held a hand to her beating heart as she remembered Sousuke's report: viciously shooting Gauron over five times, purely because he falsely claimed she was dead, was overkill even for him. Perhaps he really cared, and just didn't know it...

He stood up suddenly, startling her. "I apologize" he said, looking straight at her. "I was out-of-line there. I'm sorry to have ruined your evening with my conduct" he continued, walking straight towards the door afterward.

"Wait, Sousuke!" she exclaimed, reaching toward him, but she was too late: he'd already left.

She was left standing there, slowly considering everything she'd heard today... and smiled. Perhaps there was hope for him after all.

* * *

**The 'Military Terms' revelation is probably the only realistic way Sousuke would ever understand love, but what can you do? Still, I thought it did pretty well for a set-up chapter. Long way to go, but a good start.**


	2. Instruction

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

_An hour later_

"Ms Chidori, may I ask what this is all about?"

"Silence, Mr Sagara" she threatened, quite literally with her paper fan, pacing in front of him. "Now, in the time you've been assigned here, your ability to adapt to civilian life has been found lacking" she continued, the words not quite coming easily, but making an effort nonetheless: talking this way was the only method that might get through his thick skull.

"I am quite aware of my failure, but all my efforts have ended in disaster. I simply cannot understand why" he said, his gaze focused straight forward, no matter where she paced.

"And that's why I'm here today!" she said, getting right in his face. "For the next month, or however long it takes to train that thick skull of yours, I will be your instructor on the ways of civilians."

He gave a small gasp, looking up at her. "Kaname, you would do that?"

"Of course, dumbass" she replied offhandedly, resuming pacing. "As your friend, it was my duty to see that you adapted to civilian life, but since normal methods don't work on you, there must be changes."

"I agree with that assessment, but the rules must be clear" he added evenly. "When are the training sessions, how long will they last, and how often will they occur?"

She stopped, brought up short. She sweat-dropped: she hadn't quite thought of that just yet.

* * *

After another hour, they were in Sousuke's apartment, the furniture arranged in the closest/best way possible for the air of a military briefing. She stood in front of an empty space, a training dummy brought in beside her, she holding her paper fan. He sat at a makeshift desk, with _many_ materials present for the lesson.

_"This is the weirdest day of my life, and that's saying something"_ she thought with a flat expression. Aloud, she loudly asked, "Mr Sagara, are you prepared for your instruction?"

"Yes, I am prepared" he answered immediately.

"Good, now then" she began, pacing and gesturing as she went. "In the time you've been here, your military training has saved us countless times. However! Your ability to adapt to civilian life has been found completely lacking" she continued, finding it surreal to be talking like this, but she endured: this was the only way with the slightest chance of working.

"As I stated an hour ago, I am well aware of my failure Ms Chidori, but I am a loss to understand it" he said, his gaze straight ahead like before. "None of my efforts to adapt have had the desired effect."

"Because you lacked the instruction necessary" she answered offhandedly. "But still, your training has allowed to see negative emotions and relationships quite well."

"That is true" he said, a fist by his mouth in thought for a moment. "In war and battles, negative emotions are frequently the only emotions that show up, if any emotion is called upon at all."

"But what you fail to understand, Sergeant" she said, slapping the table for emphasis. "Is that civilian life is a whole new type of warfare, and all the training and methods you have are completely useless in it. You're trying to break through cement with only a small piece of wood, and still you fail to know it!"

_"This can't work"_ she thought desperately. _"Normal life is nothing like war!"_

He was surprised by the slap, but he seemed stunned. "A new type of warfare" he repeated, then stiffened in his seat. "I do not wish to become ineffective, Ms Chidori! Please, continue teaching so that I may become efficient in adapting to civilian life!"

_"...there's no way this is happening"_ she thought, dazed.

She recovered: "Okay, there are many relationships people can have with each other" she said loudly. "You're aware of many of the negative ones, but you severely lack understanding of the positives. There are four basic ones: Military, Friendship, Love, and Intimacy."

Despite herself, a little red got unto her cheeks. "You're already well acquainted with military relationships, both positive and negative, moreso with negative" she continued, seeking to cover this. "For now we will focus on the second: friendship. Without it, you will be unable to understand a large amount of further instruction."

He pushed a small datapad forward, which she could see was recording all the relevant information she'd been saying. "Not a problem; you have my full attention, Kaname."

The blush only intensified, and she quickly turned away to hid it. She stood there stunned for a moment, then took a glass of water to cover her movement.

It was gonna be a _long_ month...

* * *

_One week later_

"Will you go with me to the mall?"

"I would like to, I would, but I'm afraid I have other plans."

"Will you go out with me?"

"I'm flattered, miss, but I'm afraid I do not like you that way; I'm sorry."

"Can you help me on your homework?"

"I can help you; what subject do you require help on?"

Kaname glared at him, while Sousuke rather blankly looked back, then she pulled back from their rapid-fire Q&A. "Not bad, Mr Sagara" she relented after a moment. "Your responses follow your line of thinking, but still manage to fit in enough... so far, you've gotten roughly 7 out of 10. But only practice with improve those scores."

"I am always seeking to improve" he answered. "But I am grateful that I've improved this much in such a short time, with minimal instruction and no practical experience."

_"That makes two of us"_ she thought, looking at him. "Speaking of 'practical' experience, you gotta be the one to ask some of these questions to me" she said aloud, hand on her hip. "It doesn't just go one way, you know."

He stood up slowly, looking distinctly uncomfortable, but braced. "Understood, ma'am" he said without expression, taking in a breath while she waited.

Then, in a blur she barely understood: "Wouldyouliketoplayvideogames? Perhapsyoucanassistme? Pleasecanyoudomeafavor?"

Her face fell flat as she stared at him, then... SMACK!

"Was that really necessary, Ms Chidori?" he asked, completely unfazed by the fact she'd smacked him down to the floor.

"Yes!" she steamed. "It seems we found your weakest subject, Sergeant."

He stood up, unconcerned. "Very well, I will endeavor to improve."

_"Idiot"_ she thought heatedly, crossing her arms, waiting for his latest 'attempt'. _"Even with promise, he's still hopeless."_

* * *

_Another week later; 2 weeks_

"Alright, Mr Sagara" Kaname said loudly, at their latest session. "So far, you have made significant progress on the ways of friendship, even though your abilities in that area are still only 'average'. At this point, only practical experience will improve on this, so there is nothing more I can teach you."

"It is always desirable to do the best we can, but 'average' will suffice, for now" he said evenly.

"Now then, onto love" she stated, slapping the fan against his desk. "You have recently learned that engaging in friendship is much like a testing exercise between two people, correct?"

_"I still can't believe I'm doing this"_ she thought in disbelief. _"This is not normal!"_

"That is correct" Sousuke said, unfazed. "In general, a win results in increased relations between both parties, while a loss results in negative emotions, leading to possible confrontations. There are exceptions though, which I am still learning."

"Right!" she said loudly, getting right in his face for effect. "And it is exactly that type of win-win/lose-lose that follows into love and intimacy, Sergeant! There can be compromises on the battles that follow, but the ultimate objective will not accept any compromise: increased relations or none at all!"

_"Translation: love had it's up's/down's, but either love works out or it doesn't"_ she thought blankly. _"Which only this idiot wouldn't understand."_

He looked at her evenly. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Ms Chidori, but transitioning to love means you move on from testing exercises to actual battle, correct?"

She drew back, her back to him for the moment. "Correct, Sousuke" she said, eyes closed.

"Then if I may ask, what weapons do we use in the coming battles?" he asked.

Her eyes snapped open, her expression disbelieving, and she shook with rage. This idiot just didn't get it, and after all the hard work she'd done-Wait! She stopped moving, breathing heavily. _"What if he means... non-military weapons, and I just missed that?"_ she thought bleakly.

She turned around, her expression flat but struggling. "For the most part, Sergeant" she said somewhat evenly. "Your only weapons are your words, and your actions. Each has it's own situation and effectiveness."

"Does saving a person's life from assassins, or helping them avoid stalkers count as actions?"

She sweat-dropped, gripping her paper fan hard. "Yes, Sergeant... they count as actions" she said with a struggle, a vein in her forehead pulsing. "_If_ you truly manage to do so, it counts as a positive action. _However_, if it turns into another not-what-it-seemed case, it's a negative action. If I'm not mistaken, you're pretty damned good at misinterpreting situations like that."

He hummed, glancing down at his desk. "These actions" he said slowly. "Unless a situation requires the use of actual weapons, it would be... ineffective to use them at all?"

She stared at him with a stunned expression; did Sousuke just have a breakthrough?

"Kaname? Is everything alright?"

She snapped out of it, and stood stiffly. "T-That is correct, Mr. Sagara!" she said loudly, trying to cover up her stare. "Military weapons have their place in war and battles, but not in civilian life, until such time as situations require them."

He was silent for a minute, which surprised her as she looked at him. Finally he said, "This is the most informative lecture I've been given about civilian life". He looked up at her, "My view of life has steadily been defused as potential problems suddenly go away with my new understanding. You are truly an experienced instructor, Kaname, and I admire that about you" he continued, saluting her briefly.

She blushed heavily; coming from him, that was practically saying this was the best experience he'd ever had with her. She felt unexpectedly giddy from the whole thing, and had to struggle not to laugh nervously.

"I realize my instruction is nowhere near complete, but I will continue to learn and experience. So please, Ms Chidori, continue the instruction" he said, doing a brief bow and resuming his seat.

Her eyes softened as she looked at the waiting Sergeant; lovable and rage-inducing at the same time.

* * *

_Another week later; 3 weeks_

"Sergeant, much like friendship, your progress has been significant, yet scores remain average" she said, pacing hard across her apartment, trying to work off what was next. "And also much like friendship, there needs to be some practical experience to improve your scores."

"Understood" he answered evenly.

"However!" she exclaimed, whirling around and slapping the fan on his desk. "Unlike with friendship, engaging in love is a serious business! Once you enter one, you pass a point of no return with the people in question. If you're not serious about getting closer with a women, it will not end well! And worse, when others hear that you weren't serious, there will be a negative response on your relationships with other people."

He gasped a little, staring up at her. "But" he asked, sounding confused. "How will I obtain practical experience if I do not engage in these battles?"

"It's a conundrum, isn't it, Mr Sagara?" she asked sarcastically. "People will understand if you have no experience, and having no practical experience will not have any negative effects on your relationships. But going into love is serious; so if you're gonna get any practical experience, you must recognize that you feel that a woman is special/important, more than anyone else!"

She blushed heavily as she continued, "And the woman must feel the same for you!"

He was breathing a bit fast, even sweating a little. "Special, important" he repeated quietly, looking down. "Only a number of the people in my life fit those descriptions, but how I can decide if one is more important than the others?"

"Well first off, who are the people that are important in your life, Sergeant?" she asked, more softly. "Why they're important is not required."

"You have my gratitude" he said, with actual relief in his voice. "The people who are important in my life are, in no particular order: Sergeant Major Melissa Mao, Sergeant Kurz Weber, Captain Tessarossa, and you, Ms Chidori. But as of this time, I cannot understand who is more important than the others."

She didn't hear half of what he said, other than the fact he was truly honest-to-godly _grateful_ to her, and that he'd admitted out loud that she was an important person in his life! Her entire body suddenly felt hot, and she couldn't keep her face from becoming red.

"I think you're important in my life too" she whispered softly, looking down, her eyes sparkling a little from tears.

They both gasped at what she said. They stayed that way for a full minute, staring at each other... at least until she snapped to attention, more stiff than she'd ever been. "You've listed the people who are important to you, Sergeant!" she said, more loudly than was necessary. "I think that's enough instruction for today!"

_"Damn it!"_ she thought in frustration. _"You were so close! And you still chickened out!"_

"Ms Chidori-" he started, still staring at her.

"Please, your lessons are over for today!"

She'd stunned him into silence, then he gathered up his things, slowly getting up and walking past her. She looked down as he passed her, hands held together as her eyes were still full of tears.

"Kaname?"

She gasped a little, looking up; his voice was so... gentle.

"When you said I was important in your life" he said behind her, though she couldn't see his face. "Did you also mean... that I was more important... -gulp- than anyone else?"

She stood there in shock; in his own way, he's just asked her if she was in love with him!

The words came without conscious effort: "You're important in my life, Sousuke Sagara" she breathed, her hair over her face. "Whether you're more important than anyone else... I don't know yet. I must think about this, and that's why I prefer that our sessions are over for today."

Silence for a moment, then, "Take your time, Kaname" he said, still gently. "It is not a problem."

Then came the various sounds of footsteps, opening/closing of a door, and he was gone. And she stood there in shock at what just happened, growing angrier and angrier by the second.

"What the fucking hell was _that_!?" she asked herself, once she was sure even he was out of hearing range. "You love that thick-skulled dumbass, and yet when the moment comes, you chicken out! _Twice!_ He even went through all the trouble of asking the most difficult question a guy could ask, in his own way, and you STILL couldn't tell him?! What the hell is wrong with you!?"

She continued to rage for minutes on end, after which her anger just... snapped. She stood there in her apartment, leaning against the wall, her hands slowly falling by her side.

_"How did all of this happen?"_ she thought weakly, not sure if she was asking about how she fell in love with Sousuke, how that same guy had managed to understand what she'd been teaching, or just in general. She sighed, hair covering her face again.

* * *

**Hey, things happen, and sometimes we can't choose who we fall in love with ;)**

**And for those wondering why there were gaps, he's learning a lot of details all at once, the sort of boring day-by-day montage things you'd see in some animes. Writing down every single thing he'd have to learn - that'd slow things up considerably lol. ****So that was a no-brainer, I think.**


	3. Little Talk, Pt 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

_The next day_

Sousuke lay on the bed in his apartment, his gaze directed towards the ceiling, but entirely focused elsewhere. Any possible sniper positions were already set up with countermeasures and traps, and obstacles had been placed to obscure their line-of-sight, so he was free to pursue other objectives.

_"I feel so strange"_ he thought. _"Should I pursue it?"_

See, ever since he'd been assigned here, he'd been close to Kaname Chidori, and she should have only been a target he was bound to protect. But over his time here, he'd experienced many things by her hand, not all of which he understood... then came the message from Mithril: _"Any further contact with Kaname Chidori is expressly forbidden". _It should have been another routine order; he should have left and functioned without any problems whatsoever.

But seeing that message had ignited a fury unlike anything he'd ever felt before: he'd lost control, and pulverized his laptop with a single punch. In addition, he'd been thoroughly inefficient in his military duties ever since then, completely preoccupied by thoughts of Kaname. He'd even abandoned the mission and left his teammates to die when they really needed him, simply because Gauron had proclaimed she was dead. His fists clenched just thinking about it.

It was clear then, that he felt something more towards Kaname. And due to his recent experience, he'd learned that simply blinding following orders might have made him the worst kind of soldier. Having no will of his own had negatively affected his relationships with his teammates, which was not acceptable.

So after Kaname had yelled/beaten some sense into him, he'd pushed to have some will of his own. The biggest moment had been when he'd defied the council and asked to stay assigned to Kaname Chidori, even if it cost him his occupation at Mithril. Fortunately for him, they'd seen it his way in the end, though they had cut this pay. He would continue to follow orders as they came, but no longer would he blindly do everything simply because people told him to.

He slowly breathed out. He was not sure how well he was adjusting to that particular change, as following orders had been all he'd done for his life - but as he already knew, the other option wasn't acceptable.

Back to the other matter: it was clear that he felt trust for Kaname, friendly, even enough that they'd entrust each other with their lives... he could see it clearly after her instruction in the ways of friendship. But after the most recent lessons, he felt confused and hesitant. Kaname had seemed to be on the verge of confessing that she loved him, then changed her mind at the last second to think about it.

By itself, it was a single problem that he didn't know how to respond. But that problem was further complicated by the presence of another: according to her instruction, he had many of the telltale signs of love toward Kaname. Should he choose to pursue that, and assuming she returned the feelings, he would have to have new internal discussions about how to best protect her, as well as how to behave around her.

However, his abilities and experience in that area were practically nil, and he did not feel that was acceptable either. He wanted to tell her that if she loved him, he couldn't return her feelings, because he was not experienced and could not please her... but the feelings in his heart warred with the practical nature of his head, making things difficult.

He shut his eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh, then immediately got up with practiced movements.

As he strode toward the door, he settled into protocol: tell Kaname what he felt and why he felt it as well as possible, and his opinions about why it would not work out at this time. It was going to be a difficult mission, especially since this was not his area of expertise, but it had to be done. Avoiding misunderstandings was the best way to avoid future conflict, or hasten the inevitable one she was bound to deliver at his message.

He unlocked his door, opened it and stopped cold in surprise: "Kaname?"

"Hey, Sousuke" she said, in the middle of looking sheepish at being caught, and laughing nervously to cover herself up. "I... I had b-brought you a little lunch" she continued mildly, confirmed by the wrapped package in her hands.

He stayed silent for a few moments, adjusting events in his head- things worked out. "Thank you" he answered gently. "Would you care to come in?"

She was startled, her expression showing surprise. "Uh" she breathed. "This lunch isn't really made for two..."

"Not a problem" he said, turning and walking back into his apartment. "Besides, there is something we need to discuss."

Behind him, Kaname blinked several times with a curious expression, then she walked in after him, carefully locking the door behind her.

* * *

Inside his apartment, they sat together beside a table, opposite each other. He sat there, eating at his rice unconcernedly, while she sat with her gaze toward her food, hair hiding her face - the result of him explaining his reasons why he couldn't pursue romance with her.

"Kaname, are you, um, in love with me?" he asked, stumbling over the unfamiliar territory.

He saw her cheeks turn red, but her gaze didn't lift and her expression didn't change. "I was trying to come over here and tell you that over lunch, Sousuke."

He gulped silently; she was really angry, and he could guess why. "Well, I've explained my reasons" he said, closing his eyes, preparing for the inevitable. "I believe I feel the same towards you, Kaname, but I do not have any experience, and I feel that is not sufficient to enter a relationship. I am sorry."

He waited; several seconds passed...

SMACK!

He was pushed backward against the wall from the impact, quickly looking back up to see Kaname standing up, one foot on the table, paper fan in hand. "I understand you are angry, Ms Chidori, but-"

"Shut it!" she yelled, and he shut up. Then much to his surprise, she slowly eased back, putting her foot and the paper fan away, but retaining the annoyed look.

"_Look_, Sousuke" she said, her words hard. "90% of guys suffer the same problem you do; they're nervous and hesitant around girls, even with experience, so stop acting like you're unique like that. Plus, you really can't just say you love a girl then say it wouldn't work out because you're too incompetent to try. And let me make one thing clear."

For emphasis, she got right in his face.

"I do not, repeat, _do not care_ if you have no experience with romance, or think it's not 'sufficient'. I want to be with you regardless!"

He gasped, and started sweating as he sat there, stunned. In the silence that followed, he felt all protocol and familiarity crash all around him. He was in completely new territory, with all the weapons he could ask for in the coming battles, but his very body worked in ways he did not expect or completely understand. He also missed the multiple parts of Kaname's reaction to her own confession.

"Kaname" he breathed, then his body actually shook - he was falling apart, he had to do something/anything to regain control.

"Sousuke!"

"Uh, yes?" he asked immediately, grasping at this straw to compose himself, no matter how little.

And he held onto that straw as Kaname stared at him, their faces only two feet away, her crouched form behind his legs. "Sousuke" she breathed, startling him with the softness of her tone. "Do you trust me?"

He blinked, beads of sweat still on his forehead; he knew she was asking if he trusted her enough to be together. He realized after a few long moments that the real issue here was not his perceived inability to please Kaname; it was that he was avoiding the issue. And that was not acceptable either, he decided instantly.

He closed his eyes, and took a few deep breaths. Then: "I trust you, Kaname" he breathed, a little slow. "I am... unfamiliar and inexperienced with romance... but I will try."

He was further surprised when Kaname pulled him into a standing position, with an expression he could not identify. The small smile she was giving him though, told him she was about to try something, so he waited.

Then, she started to lean forward...

He started sweating a little more when he realized she was about to kiss him. He was nowhere near prepared, for this or what might follow, but Kaname had just explicitly said she didn't care if he had no experience. So, he had to trust her and try his best, even if he had no clue.

In the split-second that he thought all that, she leaned forward... and rested her head on his shoulder, holding him close in a hug. He was thoroughly surprised, but also relieved that he would have more time to compose himself than he previously figured.

"Kaname?" he asked, letting her hold him.

"Oh, Sousuke" she breathed, her grip tight but not suffocating. "You're an idiot, yet you're lovable anyway; what a paradox. You still have yet to realize that friends can hug each other, and it's perfectly okay."

He did not respond to this... but just like that day at school, his arms slowly came up after several long moments. His movements were _very_ hesitant and uncertain, but eventually, very much eventually, he got them around her back... it took longer before he gripped her as hard though, as she was doing. "So we're friends, Kaname?"

"Yes, stupid" she said, drawing back just enough to look at him, but still in their hug. "But love is just a higher grade of friendship; a special one. And it's sealed with a kiss."

In the moments that followed, both of them were silent, but still holding each other. He tried to compose himself as best as he could, while she merely looked at him before her gazed saddened. "I just wish our first kiss wasn't to another, for both of us."

He blinked, surprised. He took a moment to decipher what she meant, and immediately a memory flashed back: a girl had him pretend to be her boyfriend in order to deceive her friends, but they had wanted proof, so they had to kiss. He had done so without hesitation or feelings, certain the act would erase any doubt... but apparently he'd misunderstood things at the time, as the deception had come apart immediately afterward.

Then, he seized upon the other half of her statement: "Who kissed you, Ms Chidori?"

Her gaze further saddened, and she looked away. "It was during that time you were gone, and I thought I was being watched" she said, her voice close to breaking. "I managed to hit my pursuer, then another man came and k-killed her... and out of nowhere, he kissed me. I never got his name, but - his hair looked just like Tessa's."

Sousuke gasped, shocked. The Captain's brother? He couldn't believe it, but she continued:

"I slapped him, completely disgusted. And I felt sad afterward... that my first kiss couldn't have been with you."

His shock turned to surprise, and he didn't know how to respond to that. In the silence that followed, Kaname's grip on their hug loosened as tears slowly fell from her eyes. He tried to think of what to say; he hated to see her in this state, regardless that it left her extremely vulnerable.

"Kaname?" he whispered, quite certain that what he was about to say would be too blunt, but also that a blunt approach was required.

She didn't respond, but she did look at him.

"Did you enjoy the kiss?"

She blinked several times, completely stunned. He saw hints of rage forming, and immediately continued: "I can see that your answer is a no. Then quite simply, it was not a true kiss."

She opened her mouth, in the middle of yelling something at him... and stopped cold. "What?" she breathed, blinking again.

"You instructed me-" he started to say, then struggled to get more blunt, thinking it was the best way to reassure her. "You _told_ me that a kiss between two people was special, but only if they were both enjoying it, and if they both wanted to kiss. Your forced kiss does not meet those requirements."

She continued to stare at him, her look softening. "What are you saying, Sousuke?"

"I am saying: that was not a true first kiss" he said, taking a deep breath. "In your case, or in mine. The one kiss that I gave that girl many months ago was purely to deceive her friends, not because I wanted to. Nor did I enjoy it. In other words, you and I could still have our first... kiss together."

In the silence that followed, he gathered from her facial expressions that his words had at least part of his desired effect. So he decided to wait for her reaction.

Which turned out to be her throwing herself at him, arms wrapped tight around and sobbing.

His first instinct was she was trying to attack him, then his second was that she crying out of sadness, which bewildered him... "Kaname, why are you sad?" he asked, seeking to understand.

"I'm not, dumbass" he heard faintly, as her words were muffled. "There's such a thing as happy crying, you know"

He blinked once, considering this... then slowly held her back, trying for a gentle feel, closing his own eyes.

* * *

It took about half an hour for her tears to run out, which left a thorough stain on his clothing. In that time, he just held her, having to remind himself now and again that her tears were the happy kind, even if that still puzzled him.

Eventually, she pulled away and looked at him... but there was only a few inches distance between them.

They simply stared at each other, while he felt one bead of sweat run down his forehead. _"Do not be tense"_ he thought forcibly to himself. _"Trust Kaname; she desires to continue despite your lack of experience. But am I supposed to make the first more, is she, or do we both?"_

During his thoughts, Kaname's look slowly softened, even as her cheeks reddened slightly. Her eyes closed slowly, her face lifted up a little, and her lips opened as if waiting... the moment he saw this, he started panicking a little, and quickly closed his eyes in preparation.

"Mmhh!" she breathed in surprise, her eyes snapping open: a result of his lips colliding with hers.

_"Damn it"_ he thought, feeling he'd failed. _"I meant to come in slow, not like this. And is this awkward arrangement supposed to be pleasant?"_

In his haste, he'd come in straight, their lips pressed together but their noses in the way. Kaname's eyes shone for the first few seconds, purely enjoying this contact, then they half-closed as her fingers gently brushed against his face. He gasped a little from the touch, but allowed her to do so.

And with her touch, she gently maneuvered his head so that their lips were still touching, but their noses were no longer in the way. And in that movement, he felt like a key that fit perfectly into a lock: the sensations of the kiss doubled and/or tripled from the simple touch she'd done. His own eyes shone from what he was experiencing, trying to vividly remember it all, and how it felt so _natural_.

And in the meantime, Kaname's lips slowly moved against his, as if asking him to return the favor.

He slowly closed his eyes again, and began moving his lips against Kaname's, feeling completely strange the entire time - but it was very pleasant. He did not understand the occasional sounds she made into the kiss, but that was not unexpected. And he mused that she was the only person that he could be so relaxed around, even to this previously unthinkable degree.

As they kissed, Kaname held him even closer, and her hands were busy teaching him: she held him by the wrists gently, guiding his hands into positions on her body. These positions included at her waist, on her cheek, and even in her hair. He did not understand why his hands should be there during a kiss, but he intended to ask about that.

At some point, she pulled away, and he immediately took the opportunity to breathe and compose himself. Kaname did much the same, but they were still in each other's grips. And during that time, he felt very warm, particularly in the cheeks... was that good or bad?

"Sousuke" she breathed, sounding dazed; something he'd never heard in her voice before.

"Kaname" he answered, glancing down at them still in each other's arms. "Umm, when your hands were guiding mine, was that... part of the instruction?"

She took a few moments to respond, and her expression fell a little flat. "Yes, Sousuke, it was" she said with a sigh. "And that's it? No, "That was amazing" or "I've never felt so good before"?"

He blinked once, thinking she meant his feelings about the kiss, and he began sweating again. "It was nice and pleasant" he answered shortly, which was true, more-or-less.

She stared at him for the longest time, her eyebrows furrowed and her expression blank. Then she made a sound, hanging her head, "Close enough, for you" she said finally, then looked back up with a strange expression. "And either way, I want seconds."

"Huh?" he answered, blinking, only to be surprised by another kiss on the lips.

* * *

_Hours later_

"So, Ms Chidori, due to our many kisses, does that mean we are officially together?"

Kaname, who was in the middle of preparing something to eat for their dinner break, whirled around with an irritated expression. "You really are thick-headed" she snapped. "Even when both people willingly kiss each other, that's still up to the people themselves!"

He blinked once. "What do you mean by that?"

She sighed, hanging her head; why her? "Look Sousuke; it's not enough to kiss and be together. Both of us have to really want to be together, and it's not something you can just say... it's gotta come from your heart!"

He began sweating bullets, extremely nervous. "My heart" he repeated faintly.

She got right in his face, aiming to get this through him. "You can't just do what people tell you, or just follow orders" she said, her gaze fierce. "YOU gotta make some decisions yourself!"

He blinked several times, but not at her closeness. "I must compose myself" he said with a struggle, closing his eyes with a small grunt. "I must... decide for myself. This is just one of those moments."

The fierceness in her gaze faded, and she realized he was talking to himself more than her. She withdrew a bit, but not too far as she waited.

His eyes opened, and they stared straight ahead; one way of getting through something hard. "Kaname, do you want to be together?"

Her mouth twisted, and her cheeks reddened, but she nodded.

"And I wish to continue protecting you, and receiving instruction from you" he said, slowly closing his eyes again. "I... wish to be together, as well."

After he said that, she smiled a bit, taking his hand in both of hers. "Looks like there's hope for you after all, Sergeant" she said, her tone both soft and annoyed; this guy would never change. Still, her gaze remained on his fingers.

Her imagination began to wander, unbidden. For some reason, she imagined Sousuke's hand slowly reaching for her chest...

She gasped; the exact moment Sousuke touched her in her fantasy, she felt a rush of warmth from her chest! She quickly looked down and froze: Sousuke's hand _was_ on her left breast, both of her hands _still_ holding onto it- did she just do that herself!? She yanked away with another gasp, catching a glimpse of Sousuke's face: complete and utter shock, along with sweating bullets.

"K... K... K..." was all that came out of his mouth.

"Get out!" she yelled in a panic, pushing him away and swatting him blindly. "Get out of here!"

Now completely under attack, he got enough of his wits back to defend himself. "But Ms Chidori-!"

"Please!"

He gave a small gasp then, got whacked with his guard down, then quickly left and shut the door behind him.

On one side, Sousuke stood completely still, his eyes blinking slowly with a shocked expression, his face having a rare red tint. Slowly, he looked down at his hand, the one Kaname had held in both of hers, and the one that had -gulp- touched her. On the other side, Kaname was leaning against the door, in an unknown back-to-back moment with Sousuke, the door separating them. She was panting heavily, her face red and her thoughts racing, her hands gathered very near her chest.

Both of them were silent for the rest of the night.

* * *

**Though she'd deny it, Kaname is a bit of a fantasy type - this was just a twist on that lol.**

**And she's pretty much the only one who could attack Sousuke like that and not have him incapacitate her instantly**


	4. Little Talk, Pt 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

_"Wah! It's morning! Wah! Get up, Kaname! If you don't, you'll be late! Wah!"_

*Click*

Kaname opened her eyes, her expression annoyed as she slowly got out of bed.

Even as she went about her daily routine, she was shaking from the effort not to remember what happened yesterday. _"Nothing happened; it meant nothing!"_ she thought hard at some point. _"And besides, he'll just brush it off with some stupid military jargon that came from who knows where! Don't let yourself fantasize!"_

This line of thought was because after she went to bed, she had a few 'dreams' involving similar moments with Sousuke, who was completely out-of-character in them. She'd woken up like she'd had a nightmare, got completely angry when she realized what she was dreaming, then forcefully went back to sleep... only for the alarm to go off mere minutes later. Thus, she was seriously annoyed.

_"All that careful instruction and hints, and then I had to go and do that!"_ she raged internally, brushing her teeth with excessive force. _"Why did I have to screw up, and why does Sousuke have some unexplained charm to him!?"_

Knock Knock

She nearly growled, spitting out the toothpaste, but leaving residue on her mouth in her rage. "And who could that be!?" she said loudly, marching over to the door and slamming it open. "What!?"

Sousuke stood there, calm as ever. "Kaname" he greeted mildly, his eyes instantly taking in the toothpaste attached to her face, and the fact she was still wearing her pajamas. "Did I disturb you?"

In the instant between recognition and his question, Kaname started to freak out; his mere appearance, attitude and unbidden memories of yesterday's event - it all conflicted her to no end, and that conflict turned to rage. "Yes you disturbed me!" she yelled right in his face, though he only moved his face backward half an inch. "It's early in the morning, what did you expect!?"

He blinked once. "You seem" he said, pausing. "Distraught."

She yelled in frustration, everything spilling over into her current words. "That's it! Get out, Sagara!" she screamed, pointing outward as her eyes blurred slightly. "And never come back! All the time we've spent together has been wasted!"

He gasped a little, both from what she was saying and the bits of spittle landing on him, but he didn't move; merely braced himself. "I do not agree" he answered. "And I cannot do that."

"You can, and you will! THAT'S AN ORDER!" she yelled at full volume, already halfway toward a hit.

He caught her by the wrist easily, and she struggled futilely in his grip, while his expression never wavered. "No" he said simply. "I will not comply."

She gasped, staring at him in complete shock. WHAT had he just said!?

Sousuke Sagara, the military nut who'd been raised from who-knew-how-young to be a military nut, and who had 'no emotion' down to an ease of breathing... had just refused an order? Tears fell hard from her eyes, her expression lost, and in a moment of instinct she'd wrapped herself around him, sobbing hard.

Sousuke was surprised and bewildered by this, but after a few moment's deduction, he concluded that this wasn't the happy kind of tears. So he let her cling to him, slowly and discreetly moving them both inside her apartment, for maximum security.

* * *

It took quite awhile before Kaname calmed down, but he waited patiently, not saying a word while she sobbed against him. Eventually, she was silent, standing just apart from him now, her eyes slightly red from crying.

"Kaname" he started, not entirely sure what to say, but she cut him off.

"I messed up, Sousuke" she breathed, her eyes closed. "I ruined all those hours of instruction and being together, just with one instinctive move I never would have made so soon!"

He looked at her, mouth open slightly as he tried to figure out how to respond to that. She seemed to believe that one accidental action had collapsed their entire relationship, simply because she'd done it without really thinking... how did that make any sense, he wondered. And what would be the correct response, if there was any?

"I guess I'll understand if you'd be more comfortable as just friends" she continued, her hair covering her face.

'Just friends', a downgrade from battles to testing, and in many relationships was frequently a cause of much distress for both parties. His brow furrowed slightly as he thought this over, for all of two seconds.

With practiced movements, he walked toward Kaname, though she was delayed in noticing. "What- Sousuke?" she breathed, but that's all she got out before she gasped in surprise: Sousuke had grabbed her by the shoulders, then instantly pulled her in for a kiss.

Kaname gripped his arms hard, and he thought she might retaliate, even as he hesitantly moved his lips against hers - but as the seconds passed, her body eased and her hands relaxed, wrapping around his back. In fact, the more time that passed, the more she forgot about the surprise, and the more that she got into the kiss. Not exactly his intended result.

_"Well, as long as we're engaging in this, I can get in some practice"_ he thought, trying to forcibly relax himself. _"That will also be favorable."_

It took him a minute to 'relax' enough to try anything new, but he did get there, and Kaname still liked the simple kissing. Then he braced himself, and slowly opened his mouth in the kiss, which she mirrored without conscious thought. He decided to take that as a good sign.

Then feeling ridiculous, he moved his tongue forward into her mouth a little, as was the next step.

The sound that came out of Kaname's mouth frightened him a little, and he tried to pull away, but he was instantly yanked back. He began sweating into the kiss, his eyes open while he frantically tried to figure out what that sound meant. The closest he came to was 'moan', but was that really it?

And the entire while, Kaname was really into the kiss, her tongue demanding against his.

The sheer naturalness and pleasure from the tongues was making it hard to think, so he was effectively reduced to complying with her wishes. He closed his eyes, finding himself strangely inclined to gasp into the kiss, and feeling his body's temperature rising fast; was something wrong with him? _"If there was any danger, Kaname would have warned me"_ he felt more than thought. _"This must be natural; it must be."_

While he was busy thinking/feeling this, his tongue moved of it's own accord, though mostly due to Kaname's actions. The warm, moist environment between their mouths blotted out a lot of details, except for the way Kaname's tongue seemed to caress, lick, and otherwise battle for dominance over his. He gasped when he realized the latter; perhaps Kaname was correct when she accused him of being slow-witted.

The moment after he realized this though, he became aware that Kaname was changing positions: she was leaning backward, turning slightly as she did so, their mouths always remaining connected. He couldn't understand it until her back hit the couch, and he was suddenly sprawled on top of her.

_"What is she attempting to do?"_

The answer came when Kaname gently grasped both his hands in hers, and move them across her body... ending directly on her chest.

His eyes snapped open, gasping at the same time Kaname moaned, but he couldn't take it; he pulled away in a panic, Kaname actually whining sadly from his pulling away. He staggered to his feet, panting heavily, both from lack of oxygen and his shock, his mind refusing to function correctly.

"Sousuke?" she breathed, slowly sitting up, blinking slowly to clear the dazed look. "What's wrong?"

He couldn't answer; he couldn't function like this. Luckily though, all his trained instincts and abilities came instantly, leaving him extremely conflicted the whole while... the process took ten seconds, which was a long time to compose himself. "I-" he started, only to stop with a grunt. "Kaname, that's twice now that this has happened."

He closed his eyes; it was easier that way. "I do not understand why, but I know it is too fast" he breathed. "I'm sorry, but I do not think I can continue like this today."

He waited. He did not know how she would react, but he was prepared for most any reaction she could come up with.

"Sousuke..." he heard, and he braced himself. "It's not your fault."

He opened his eyes, blinking; that was the last response he'd expected.

Kaname stood a distance away from him, her hands together, appearing both embarrassed (without the blush) and conflicted. "To put it simply, I've just rushed things, even though I never planned on doing so" she said, glancing away. "That, plus the fact that I never briefed you on intimate aspects, must be very confusing for you."

"Kaname" he said, but he didn't know what he meant by it. He wasn't sure how to respond, but saying her name seemed to say it all... whatever 'it all' meant.

Kaname's fists clenched, her hair covering her face. "Tomorrow, I will fix that" she replied, her voice tight. "But until then, it's probably best if you leave now, Sergeant."

He gulped silently; she was REALLY angry, but strangely _not at him_. He didn't question her further though, quietly packing up his things and leaving, though he did glance at her. Once outside, he took more time to close the door behind him than normal. He stood completely still, silent for a few minutes, waiting for a sign as he observed her apartment's door.

There was a scream of rage, actually making him blanch: Kaname was really, really angry at _herself_, apparently.

* * *

_"What the hell is wrong with me!?"_

Kaname slammed her fists against the empty table, shaking with emotions. First she screws up, then she tries to push him away, and when he stays around regardless (even kissing her for God's sake), she suddenly gets all schoolgirl-mushy _and pulled him onto the couch_. She should be angry at his stubbornness, his inability to understand things but nooooo, she was in love with that thick-skulled idiot. And judging by things, she had just tried to have him _make love to her_! Or so she was assuming!

_"Why am I even thinking about this!?"_ she raged silently, almost wanting to break everything in her apartment. _"Why would I want him touching me like that!?"_

...Why wouldn't she?

That one thought snapped her anger in two, and she just slumped there, completely silent for uncounted minutes. She started walking slowly, not seeing where she was going, but she vaguely felt herself land on her bed at one point. She grasped it's covers hard, her eyes closed.

_"Why wouldn't I?"_ she thought weakly. _"He's that kind of guy: he's lovable at the same time, even when he's difficult. Perhaps, really... the problem is me."_

It was extremely difficult to admit it to herself, but perhaps part of the trouble was herself, and her reactions to Sousuke. Despite his inability to understand civilian life, he really did mean well, just wanting to protect her... and now, she was making an effort for him to understand, and he was reacting well despite all expectations. And when they actually did some practice, she reacted with rage _at him_ when SHE had screwed up, and just now, she'd gotten inexplicably angry _at herself_ simply for being soft.

She twisted the covers in her hands, beginning to cry at the entire situation she and Sousuke were both in, and the fact that she'd screwed-up _again_.

* * *

**There's that fantasy aspect again, just more subtle this time. ****Of course, there's still more instruction and talking to be done with Sousuke.**

**Should be interesting ;)**


	5. A Little Break

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

_Tomorrow, 3-and-a-half weeks_

Knock Knock

_"That must be him"_ she thought, taking a deep breath and walking towards the door. And sure enough, it was Sousuke: "I am here, reporting for further instruction as you requested."

"Yeah sure, whatever" she dismissed, just wanting to get this over with, though for what reason she wasn't sure. "Take a seat, Sergeant."

He did so, sitting straight up, his gaze focused forward.

Her expression flat, she closed her eyes. "Now, Sagara" she said, thinking she already knew the answer. "Have you ever thought about how you were born?"

She heard the faintest 'Uh' from him, then silence. "No, I have not before."

_"There's a surprise"_ she thought, sighing. She kept her flat expression as she said aloud: "Well, Sergeant, every single person who existed was born at some point, with two parents. One male, one female; it can't happen any other way."

"I have noted that, though it never seemed of any importance" he mused, a fist near his chin in thought. "And reflecting on it further, whatever is required to make another human being, it must take a lot of effort or anyone could do it anytime they wanted."

Kaname merely sweat-dropped: Sousuke's reasoning, while without _any_ of the actual embarrassment that would normally follow, was essentially correct. It both pleased her that he was beginning to understand in his own way, and made a vein in her forehead throb at how dense he could be. _"Just... get through this"_ she thought, trying to keep herself in check. _"Do not chicken out again."_

"Sousuke, I have noted you seem very fond of hitting men in the groin" she said bluntly.

"Well, yes" he answered. "It is the most sensitive area of the male body, so it is the most practical area to attack if your objective is disabling them."

_"Right"_ she thought flatly, her shoulders slumping. "But Sagara, do you even know what the groin's purpose is?" she asked, having to prevent herself from asking if he even knew what was down there: of course he would, even he would notice his genitals in the shower, or whatever it was they did to clean themselves. Her restraint was beginning to crack, and an eyebrow twitched.

He was silent for a few moments, appearing to think something over quickly, then he glanced away. "I am not sure" he answered evenly, slowly.

_"Of course you wouldn't know, Sousuke"_ she thought faintly, shoulders further slumping, even though something about his glance should have seemed off. "Just as I thought" she said, steeling herself. "Now, what I'm about to instruct embarrasses me, but it must be said for you to understand. You need to understand how intimacy physically works."

Sousuke gulped, then his eyes instantly shut as he stood up. "That will not be necessary" he said tightly, walking away-

-while she pulled him back by the ear. "Of course it is, idiot" she said, looking at him, annoyed. "You can't just walk out without knowing this!"

"But I already know this!" he answered, his voice a fraction higher than normal. She was already saying something, only for his statement to sink in.

What?

"You already know!?" she said loudly, in shock. "How!?"

Sousuke's eyes closed, and he sat down slowly. "Kurtz recently filled me in" he said shortly, beads of sweat already present. "The talk made me incredibly uncomfortable, and I tried to get away, but he wouldn't let me. I admit I didn't understand all of it, but I still got that he was talking about intimate parts of the body. Also, I apologize when I said I was not sure about the purpose of the male groin. I am sorry."

Her fists clenched involuntarily, and that vein on her forehead raged, her breathing shallow but heavy. All this time, he'd known about intimacy (physical details at least, if not how people actually got up to that stage) and he'd never so much as said anything? Across from her, Sousuke's eyes half-opened briefly, saw her clenched/shaking fists, and closed them again.

She wanted to smack him... oh she wanted to so badly...

_"I feel the same towards you, Kaname, but I do not have any experience, and I feel that is not sufficient to enter a relationship. I am sorry."_

Sousuke's words echoed in her head, a simple way of telling her he didn't think he was good enough. She realized that he'd never mentioned it because of an identical issue: he had no experience with intimacy, including actual visual references, and so it didn't seem important until he'd essentially connected the dots. Damn that idiot...

She slowly opened her eyes, and saw Sousuke still sitting there, seemingly waiting for something. She slowly realized he expected her to hit him, which she would have done had she not heard his thoughts in her head. She hung her head slightly, then slowly and silently approached him. She thought he'd sense her somehow, being the military nut he was.

Still, perhaps even he couldn't sense a hand slowly moving through the air, even if it was aimed at his cheek...

He gasped when that happened, his eyes snapping open, staring at her with beads of sweat still present.

She slowly smiled, trying to give him an understanding look (which was harder than she thought it'd be)... but maybe it came out as amused for all she knew, as his stare never changed, even as her hand gently caressed his cheek. And after a minute of this, she simply tilted her head, "Well then, Sergeant" she whispered. "Perhaps instead of a briefing type of instruction, we try something else entirely?"

He blinked several times at this, confused.

* * *

_Hours later_

Much to Sousuke's pleasant surprise, Kaname's 'something else entirely' turned out to be just a little detour to visit his secret fishing spot. She said they could spend a day or two there, or however long it took before they were ready to go back, but either way it was up to him. No one would know they were there, and they'd simply spend that time together, however they chose to.

For the rest of the time the sun was up, they simply fished, mostly in silence or simple words/sentences when they got a bite. They did have a conversation or two though, one of which went like this:

_"Sousuke?"_

_"Yes, Kaname?"_

_"I think I already know the answer to this, but if you knew the physical details for a little while, why didn't you say anything?"_

_He'd been silent for a few moments, then he'd hung his head slightly. "Even though Kurz explained things to me, they were still confusing and indecipherable to me. Your instruction, from friendship all the way up to intimacy, has proven invaluable. And because I understand how things lead up to intimacy now, I have a better understanding of the physical details."_

_She given a slight hum at that. "Okay" she stated. "If you knew the details for some time, even if you mostly didn't understand it... that's why you reacted the way you did? When our little -gulp- moments happened?"_

_One bead of sweat ran down his side. "That is correct" he'd answered faintly._

_They'd sat there for a few more moments, then Kaname had pushed him, like a friend would do. This both surprised and confused him._

_"That's for deceiving me, Sagara" she said mildly, then her eyes softened and she leaned in to kiss his cheek, much to his nervous surprise. "And that's for being a good student *heart* ."_

The moment ended in his head, and he blinked slowly, staring up at the night sky from his spot on the ground. He was on his back, hands beneath his head, while Kaname lay curled in her sleeping bag. _"There is much I may never understand"_ he thought faintly. _"And yet Kaname's instruction, provided in a military briefing manner and with military parallels, has finally made sense of many things."_

He stayed that way for awhile, then he slowly glanced over at Kaname, only slightly moving his head.

Aside from being in her pajamas, which she'd changed into behind some heavily-concealed trees, she appeared the same as always. Her long blue hair lay sprayed out over her front, still tied at the base with a red bow. Her eyes were closed, and her mouth slightly open as she breathed, a simple repeating pattern of in and out. Most of her was covered by the bulletproof sleeping bag, but he could still see she was sleeping peacefully.

His gaze slowly relaxed as he watched her sleep. He didn't smile, as there was no need to, but he still felt so peaceful in her presence... even when she was hitting him, which didn't really bother him: he'd handled much worse.

_"But what can I do?"_

The source of his question was the two 'moments' Kaname had mentioned earlier, when she'd maneuvered his hands directly onto her (thankfully covered) breasts. His mind had come up with all sorts of possible reasons for why, all of which constructed it so that she hadn't done it intentionally... but upon further thought, there were many holes and cracks in those reasons. He simply couldn't see how it could have been anything other than on purpose, even if she hadn't been aware of her actions (the first time at least; her response had implied that).

He'd been extremely mortified when that had happened, but he was still a little disquieted: he'd actually _enjoyed_ the touch slightly, in direct contrast to that one other time with Captain Tessarossa. Sure, he'd learned it was perfectly natural to feel this, and it was perfectly okay to enjoy the touch, but he still felt unsure about the whole situation.

He was mentally silent for what seemed like the next hour, never once moving except for breathing and blinking. _"Maybe that's the issue"_ he thought slowly. _"Aside from her initial reactions, Kaname has shown signs that she enjoys the intimacy and desires to continue, just preferring to be in control of her own actions first, and doing so at the right pace. Something I can understand well enough. Myself, on the other hand, have simply responded to her affections and little more."_

He slowly looked back up at the sky, closing his eyes. _"Romance, and intimacy as well, require both participants to want the other"_ he thought faintly. _"If Kaname truly desires to continue, perhaps I should stop thinking about my own inabilities, and try for her sake, even if I do not have a guide for this."_

The thoughts were alien to him, to his nature... but then again, his original nature had almost made him into the worst kind of soldier. So no, some change was in order, but he would do it slowly, if possible.

* * *

Early the next morning, Sousuke dug around in their supplies for rations. Kaname was still asleep, but he expected that: she'd never been trained to wake up early on a regular basis.

And regarding his thoughts last night, he'd resolved to try, at the very least. He knew he was mostly shooting in the dark here, and in unfamiliar territory, but if Kaname would enjoy the intimate moments, it would all be worth it. He still wondered if he should talk to her about this though, or simply ask her out of nowhere... but if he did that, she'd either blush and say this might not be the right time (he remembered her saying something similar during the chemical incident at school, which he'd missed completely), or she'd smack him for daring to say such a thing.

Speaking of that chemical incident, he wondered if he should have brought that biochemical suit with him or not. It was highly unlikely they'd encounter anything remotely like that out here, but it never hurt to be prepared.

Kaname stirred in her sleeping bag, making a sound. Sousuke glanced back at her, but saw she was still asleep, and went back to what he was doing.

"Oh, Sousuke..."

He gasped a bit, slightly frozen. The way she said his name was not a tone he was familiar with.

"I didn't know you felt that way about me" she whispered in her sleep (he was assuming), still in that tone. "I thought you were much too reserved to say that- no, don't come near me. Oh, that felt good...!"

His body actually started shaking: if she was dreaming what he thought she was dreaming about, this was clearly NOT something he should be overhearing. And yet, he found himself mysteriously frozen to the spot, eyes wide and mouth open slightly. Wait, scratch that: he was frozen except for the mysterious urge to get _closer_ to her sleeping body!

"Ahh!" she cried out, and with a gasp, he was instantly at her side. "Kaname!"

She was breathing a little fast, her cheeks red, but appeared otherwise unharmed. He couldn't quite understand it, then: "Oh, Sousuke, do that again, please. I love it when you touch me there."

He actually backed away in his panic, and hit his head on a tree, not that he particularly noticed. Meanwhile, he was in full-on freakout mode, breathing heavily with red cheeks himself.

Oddly enough, she didn't do much of anything for the next minute, but then she slowly stirred and sat up. Now he was nervous; if she found out he'd been listening to her, and if she realized he'd overheard her dream, he was gonna be right in her line of fire.

Kaname's eyes were half-open, blinking slowly as she looked around, stopping on him after awhile. "Sousuke?" she breathed faintly.

A delayed reaction maybe? "Kaname" he said back, trying to go for normal tone of voice, but not sure if he succeeded.

She blinked once, her eyes still lidded, then she smiled like a cat. "What do you think you're doing over there?" she breathed with 'that' tone he'd heard earlier, which made him gasp. "You can't just touch me then suddenly play hard to get" she continued, actually starting to crawl over toward him.

If he wasn't mysteriously frozen to the spot, he'd have tried to repeatedly claw his way up the tree behind him. But as it was, Kaname got within inches, still smiling like a cat with that eyes-half-open look that was really making him nervous. "I'd probably never be this forward with you when I'm awake" she breathed in his ear, which startled him with the realization. "And you're so much fun when you're uncharacteristically forward. So please, go back to touching me, hmm?"

He couldn't function like this, so he didn't try to: he merely tried to figure out what the hell he should do.

Okay, Kaname believed she was having an intimate dream involving them both, and didn't realize that she was awake. And she would realize that eventually, but the question was how long? And if he so much as did ANYTHING to keep her believing this was a dream, and she 'woke up' and realized what had happened... he'd rather face a nuclear device than her rage, as the ensuring explosion would be considerably less. But still, there was a chance that if that scenario happened, she'd be happy that they got closer, and she'd love him even more.

His instinctive calculations said that last part of the equation was slim-to-none, if that. But immediately after that, he realized he was once again attempting to rationalize, to keep these feelings at bay. He had to stop doing that, because this was not a military situation. Rationalized or not though, he knew that second one had risks. He immediately decided he couldn't take that risk, as he knew he couldn't bear it if she wanted nothing more to do with him.

His breathing slowed, only a few moments having passed while Kaname continued to look at him passionately... at least that was the closest word he could come up with.

_"Forgive me"_ he thought, then looked directly at Kaname, composed. "Kaname" he said simply.

"Yes?" she almost purred, which he had to struggle _hard_ to ignore.

He stood up, pulling her up easily, much to her surprise. "Oh, what are you planning?" she breathed, smiling. "Hmm?"

"Nothing too big" he said easily, which distracted her from where his hands were moving. "Just this."

"Woah!" she cried out as he picked her up, and fairly easily held her upside-down. While he held Kaname in his arms, her blue hair hung over the ground, legs supported on his shoulders. "Sousuke!"

"Comfortable?" he asked, seeking to stall.

Still upside-down, she peered at him with a cat smile. "So bold" she breathed, giggling. "I've always liked that about you."

"I am glad to hear that" he said, a little less easily than he'd liked, but he could already see her head starting to redden from being held upside down. Now he just needed to wait till the pressure got to her.

"Oh" she breathed, a little pressure-tinted. "This is starting to feel funny, Sousuke."

"Is it?" he asked, tilting his head slightly. "I hadn't noticed."

"Oh, ah" she said, starting to get more tense. "Ow, okay, that's getting heavy."

"Allow me" he said easily, judging this was enough, easily putting her back down on her feet. "You okay, Ms Chidori?"

"Yeah, I'm-" she said, only to stop when she realized her environment. She looked around quickly, then back up at him, completely confused. "Sousuke? How did I get here? I was in my sleeping bag-"

"You woke up a few minutes ago" he answered, which was true, technically. "I saw that you were sleepwalking, and I was attempting to wake you up. I believe I succeeded."

She blinked several times, looking between him and her sleeping bag. "O... kay" she breathed slowly, still completely confused.

He kept up the relatively blank expression until she got over this, and went to get ready for the day... then he slumped a lot, thoroughly unnerved. He had to do something about this, and fast: he needed some experience, right now, or he'd spend the next undetermined amount of time reacting much the same, until Kaname took things into her own hands. He did not think that was the best course of action; to do nothing like he had been doing. But getting experience meant-

He gulped, sweating bullets: this was gonna be the hardest day of his life.

* * *

**Ah Kurz, filling Sousuke in on this stuff against his will. Sure he wouldn't have understood it at all till now, but he'd remember it somewhere, being the military guy we all know.**

**And on another note, who knew Kaname had it in her? Still, she's gonna be surprised at what's on the agenda for today lol**


	6. The Wrong Idea

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

Sousuke worked almost feverishly, trying to distract himself with work or other things until Kaname got back.

In front of him, a nice big fire burned, giving a lot of flickering red-orange light to the otherwise dark night. About ten feet away from that was a large blanket, spread out over the ground for what he had planned, instead of the sleeping bags they'd used the night before. Other than that though, the campsite appeared relatively normal, but this would not be a normal night.

He was worried about a lot of things. One would be Kaname's possible reactions, before or after he started explaining what it was he had planned, and why. Another was the fire would give away their position to anyone who might wish them harm, but he also knew no one should know about this spot, so he was conflicted on that one. Also on the fact that he was completely and literally unarmed, along with barefoot... and another still was that he did not know how he'd react once they started.

He could relatively prepare for anything that might interrupt them, and prepare for most of Kaname's expected reactions (soft and angry included), but it was he who was the unknown factor here. He could freeze up, he could suddenly pull away in a huge burst of rationality, he could completely lose himself in the emotions and go too far- he couldn't predict his own actions on that front, and that worried him immensely.

"Okay, I'm back."

Soususe tensed; he wasn't ready. Then he slowly slumped with a sigh; who was he kidding? He was never gonna be ready, but he still had to face this at some point, and sooner was better than later for his sanity.

"Wait a minute, what's all this, Sousuke?"

He looked up at her, trying to keep his expression neutral. Sure enough, Kaname had walked back into camp in her pajamas, looking around at their campsite with confusion. "Why haven't you set up our sleeping bags yet? What's with the enormous blanket covering the ground, and why is the fire still lit?"

"Because, Kaname" he answered shortly, slowly standing up, standing sideways to Kaname for now. "I'm not planning on going to sleep yet."

She blinked once at this, then got an annoyed expression, hands on her hips. "Well, how am I gonna sleep while you're up doing who knows what?"

"You're not" he answered simply, surprising her as he turned to face her. "You'll be awake as well."

Blinking several times, she didn't answer for a few seconds: "And what makes you think I'm gonna do that?"

"Because there is something I have planned" he said, gesturing to the blanket he was currently standing in front of. "And I'd like you to participate... with me" he continued, adding the last part after a moment. _"So far so good."_

She was still surprised, but her expression softened ever so slightly when he said 'with me'. "Participate?" she breathed, looking between the blanket and himself. "In what, Sousuke?"

He slowly closed his eyes, remembering that day at school where by accident, a viral bacteria had gotten loose, making them think they were all gonna die. Of course, he'd soon figured out that was not actually the case, so he'd taken Kaname to the medical wing, and asked her to take her clothes off so they could save them. But Kaname seemed to have thought he meant something else entirely, saying she wasn't prepared and this was so sudden, blushing the whole time.

He hadn't had a clue what she was talking about at the time, but now, he had a much better idea.

He opened his eyes again after a few moments. "Remember that day at school, with the bacteria?" he asked, looking right at her. "And that moment in the medical wing?"

Judging from the light red that appeared on Kaname's face, and her jolt, she did remember. "Yeah" she said after a moment, her voice a little hard. "You sure took your sweet time telling me that bacteria only ate clothes!"

"I know, and I am sorry" he answered, then braced himself. "Also, I didn't understand why you reacted the way you did that day, Kaname."

"No surprise there" she breathed, still annoyed as she crossed her arms.

"But" he said faintly. "I think I do now."

Her annoyed aura faded completely at that, and her cheeks reddened considerably as she fidgeted. "You-" she breathed, glancing down. "You do?"

"I do" he answered simply, or he tried to. "And I would like to- like to engage in the, um, 'act' you thought I meant that day."

* * *

Kaname was in a state of shock: WHAT had Sousuke just asked her to do!? Unfortunately, her mouth hadn't quite caught up with her brain:

"But what- Sousuke you - " she babbled, her cheeks turning the brightest shade of red, freaking out. "How will you be able to handle this? How long have you been thinking this? What if I get preg-!?"

She gasped in pure horror, slapping both hands over her mouth.

Sousuke was stiff, distinctly uncomfortable and nervous, but still unyielding somehow. The only kink in that facade was the confusion that flickered over his expression during her last cut-off question. "I do not know, but I will try" he answered with effort, the words sounding forced. "Since this morning, after you woke up. Also, I think that this is the right thing to do."

She freaked out even further, staring at him in complete shock with a stupid expression, not even sure how to respond: this was all so sudden, just like that day.

He closed his eyes, which seemed to help him. "Kaname, I do not feel comfortable with how I react to intimate situations, so I have decided that the sooner I get some experience, the better. I will never be ready for it and I will not know what to do, but with you helping me, I believe I can get through it-"

He continued to explain his reasons, but all she heard was a blur. She was still having trouble processing exactly what he'd asked her to do, along with the fact that he thought he needed to have the experience now, and that _he_ needed _her_ help.

She also knew deep down this was never gonna happen again; Sousuke was the ultimate military nut, and the effort to indirectly ask her THAT (whether he was aware of it or not) must have been enormous! And yet, despite the instinct to stomp him into the ground right now... this might be only chance to actually have it happen.

Her own eyes closed. "Sousuke" she stated quietly.

He didn't hear her: he continued to explain his reasons.

A vein throbbed in her forehead. "Sousuke" she stated louder, to the same result. "SOUSUKE!"

He gasped out of his words, sweating bullets as he stood there, military-still.

She strode over to him with slow footsteps, and while he didn't look at her, she knew he was aware of her location at all times. She circled him for awhile, just to keep him uncomfortable, then she stopped just off-center of his right. Her expression was somewhere between blank and annoyed. Sousuke never moved a muscle the entire time, not even for blinking or breathing (must be his training).

"First off" she said, actually making him blanch in the slightest motion. "You've got some nerve asking for that."

He didn't respond, so she shook her head as she circled.

"The 'act' you mentioned Sousuke, is special, even among intimacy, and not something you just ask for" she continued, forcing down the rage. "It's something you do, when both feel like it, got it?"

"Got it" Sousuke breathed, his gaze still faintly upward.

She stopped, looking at him directly. "Do you _really_, Sergeant?"

Several seconds passed, then he gulped slightly. "No" he whispered quietly. "I don't really."

"Exactly" she said, looking away but not moving. "Despite you somehow knowing the physical details, you're still woefully inexperienced with the other aspects of intimacy, and that includes experience."

They remained that way for awhile, then she slowly looked back at him, her expression still hard as rock until it softened.

"Still, you get points for asking at all."

Sousuke's gaze snapped to her, completely surprised/confused, and sweating again. She slowly smiled, wanting to giggle at the sight of him like that, even as her fingers wandered over a point of his uniform (to his further nervousness). "Here" she whispered gently, pushing against a spot. "Your imaginary commendation."

He blinked several times at her, then he relaxed slightly. "In what field?" he asked, relieved.

"Oh, something about your courage, Sergeant" she breathed, then she tilted her head. "Besides, Sousuke - it would never have worked right this moment, even if I accepted."

"Why is that?"

"Because dummy, you're too tense" she said mildly, poking him. "You're stiff as a board normally, and only slightly less in my company - but minutes earlier, you were the stiffest I've ever seen, so it would have never worked. You need to be relaxed as possible for what you had in mind."

He glanced down, unsure. "So" he eventually whispered, glancing at her. "What do I need to do?"

"Well, I have a plan, sorta" she breathed, then leaned over to whisper in his ear.

* * *

Sousuke walked off the plane's steps, distinctly aware of Kaname following behind him, the sun past it's afternoon position. They'd arrived back in the city, ready to go back to their apartments, and get their things in order. And though he tried to keep his thoughts elsewhere, he kept returning to last night:

Kaname had essentially put his offer on hold, neither saying yes or no to it, and instead said she'd like to try a few things before she gave him an answer. She'd said it would involve them being close, and he'd have to trust her, but hadn't elaborated beyond that... still, whatever she was gonna do tonight, it gave him something to focus on.

Behind him, Kaname kept glancing at the back of Sousuke's head.

She was really worried about tonight, for a lot of reasons: one of which was the expected nervousness, and the fact that Sousuke had no idea how he'd react, because he had no experience with any of this. But also, she felt like she should be making him work for it, to see him essentially make up for all the times he'd annoyed her... but she also felt that if she was too abrasive, it'd affect his willingness to 'continue'.

She struggled against the last two, knowing he'd never _really_ done anything to deserve it. _"I just gotta be gentle"_ she thought, smiling faintly. _"He's got some faults, I've known that for awhile, but he really does try for me."_

"Kaname" Sousuke stated, startling her out of her thoughts as he glanced back at her. "How will we proceed from here?"

"Well" she briefly struggled to say, then got over it. "First, the obvious: we go back to our apartments and drop off our things."

"As you said" he admitted. "But I was inquiring of what we do after that."

She was thrown off-guard: she hadn't quite thought of that yet. Should she go to his apartment, or should he come to hers?

_"His apartment looks normal, but it's probably filled with all sorts of traps"_ she thought, briefly getting a flat look. _"Then again, he's been over to mine so many times now..."_

She looked back at him after a few moments. "And then, I'll come over to your apartment" she said softly.

He blinked once, but he got a shadow of a smile on his face. "That will be satisfactory" he said.

"But when I get there, I'll want three things done" she said, surprising him as she stopped. "1) You'll have no weapons on your person... *sigh* but they can be within easy reach. 2) Any traps you have that sweep the floor and the air of your apartment, they must be disabled for tonight. And 3) You'll prepare to eat a home-cooked meal from me when I arrive."

He was silent for a few moments, standing there looking at her, then he slowly nodded. "Understood" he said faintly. "It is not a problem."

"_Why do I feel like it is despite him saying that?"_ she thought to herself as they continued as before.

* * *

**'Enormous' is a true understatement, knowing Sousuke XD Still, overall**** it's a pretty sweet moment for the two of them ;)**

**And the next few will be considerably longer than this, so be prepared.**


	7. Relaxing

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

_Hours later; night_

It was quiet outside Sousuke's apartment, aside from the occasional traffic of passersby. But it was even more quiet inside that same apartment.

Kaname ate her food slowly, while Sousuke lightly picked at what remained of his, seemingly too preoccupied to eat anymore. The curtains were closed off, and though the apartment more-or-less appeared bare, she knew there were probably a lot of secret compartments for his weapons. They hadn't said a word since he'd opened his door to let her in.

Not that she really blamed him about not eating, considering this dinner plan was only a build-up to some event he didn't know about, and then to the more embarrassing stuff. It was still making her heart race just thinking about it.

She discreetly glanced up from her food. Sousuke wore his usual black 'civilian' uniform, while she'd shown up in her pajamas, quite literally. He'd been very confused about that, but she'd said she might sleep over, and they were very comfortable.

She sighed mentally, pausing with her fork. _"Sousuke would wait till the end of the world if he had to, but I'm finding his silence to be unbearable"_ she thought, then glanced down at her food, eyebrows furrowing together. _"I can't stand this anymore."_

Clang: the result of her dropping her fork onto the table.

Sousuke was immediately alert at the sound, but puzzled when he found the source merely to be her fork. "Kaname?" he asked, then his eyes followed her standing up.

"Sousuke" she said, her voice quieter and more gentle than either of them expected. "It's time."

He merely blinked, but she somehow got the impression that it was taking a lot of his military training to keep himself composed. "I see" he breathed, slowly standing up, perfectly straight. "May I inquire as to what we will be doing first?"

The 'activity' that he's in the dark about; she knew that's what he meant. "Stand by your bed, Sousuke" she breathed.

She saw hints of confusion form in his military-blank expression, but he complied, even as she followed him at a sorta-close distance. He was further confused by her next command ("Turn around"), but he still complied, facing away from her.

_"Now, things get interesting"_ she thought faintly. It still took her a few moments before her mouth worked: "Take off your uniform, Sergeant."

He gasped a bit, and she had a little silent mini- freakout that she'd said that. "My uniform" he repeated, considerably less composed by the sound of things. "But I will be exposed."

The familiar ring of military considerations brought her back to her senses. "Not completely" she breathed with a sigh. "Just from the waist up."

His breathing was audible for a few moments. "Is-" he said, with a small struggle. "Is this necessary, Ms Chidori?"

"It is, Sousuke" she breathed, then smiled slightly. "And I don't think you need to worry; you're the most insanely prepared guy I know. One removal of uniform won't kill you". Then her voice softened, "And just like that haircut Sousoke, all I need is your trust. Can you do that for me?"

He was silent, except for the strained breathing noises he made. She gave him time though: this was hard for him, as it interfered with his safety, and indirectly his ability to protect her.

"I am not-" he breathed, then he stopped. "I do not feel entirely comfortable with this, Ms Chidori... but I will do as you ask."

"Take as long as you need" she breathed, less soft than before, but that was only because she was mildly annoyed that he'd reverted to calling her by her last name. "And from now on, just call me Kaname, Sergeant."

"As you wish, Kaname" he said faintly, his hands slowly coming up to the neck of his uniform.

She tried not to stare, but there was still something irresistible about this... then she mentally slapped herself: she'd seen him without a shirt before, at the beach. Why was she so fascinated all of a sudden?

Sousuke slowly continued, removing his 'civilian' jacket. And as a result, she saw that he was both wearing a white sleeveless t-shirt that you might see under some guys' main shirts, and a bulletproof vest.

_"Sure, why not?"_ she thought, her expression going flat for a few seconds. "Don't tell me you're wearing bulletproof pants as well."

"If you mean a fabric similar to this vest, then no" he answered, still slowly going about things. "However, all of my clothes have extra protection built-in."

_"...Of course they do"_ she thought, exasperated as she silently sighed.

By the time she looked back up, she was surprised: Sousuke had finished, and was now bare from the waist up. He stood there for a moment, letting out a breath before he turned around, as composed as could be. And in those few seconds, she'd been staring at his back: strong, firm, marked here and there with a few scars, which she'd inexplicably wanted to trace with her fingers.

"I am ready for our activity, Kaname" he said faintly. "Though I still desire to know what it is."

That shook her out of her daze: "Uh" she struggled for a moment, then she got a hold of herself and stood up straighter. "You will lay on the bed, Sergeant, face down on your stomach. And the only thing you'll need to be prepared for is the feel of my fingers."

He blinked once, and glanced down at her fingers. "I see" he said after a moment, moving toward the bed. "What do you hope to accomplish?"

She began to get annoyed. "Just lay down, Sousuke" she said flatly.

Maybe it was her tone, or her words, but he shut up and complied, laying on his stomach. Though his face was pressed into the sheets, his eyes were still alert. It was this that allowed him to see (along with sense) her coming around to the side, then slowly get on the bed herself, on his left side.

"I'd say 'don't be so tense' right now, but what would be the point?" she said faintly, with a smile smile. "Still, here I'm gonna try and relax you... with just these" she continued, holding her hands out so he could see. "Okay?"

"It is not a problem" he said, slightly muffled from speaking into the sheets. "Proceed."

Her smile softened slightly, then her expression turned nervous as she looked at Sousuke's bare back, literally about a foot away from her fingers. She reached for him, but she thought she saw herself tremble slightly. _"You can do this"_ she told herself mentally. _"If you can taze an assassin from behind, you can touch a guy's back."_

Her fingers touched Sousuke's back, but she was surprised at the startled gasp/tensing thing he did in response. Then again...

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Sergeant" she said with amusement, her fingers moving slightly in place. "And besides, the worse damage I could do is claw marks."

"I am sorry" he responded, turning his head slightly toward her. "It was an instinctive reaction; I will try to relax" he finished, turning his head back to normal.

The seconds passed, and she saw/felt no observable decrease in tension, but she didn't mind: it was her job to relax him after all, not have him just magically de-tense himself.

"Don't worry about it" she said soothingly, then started moving her fingers against his back. "You can just lay there."

His body (and by extension, Sousuke himself) moved in response to her touch, but mostly as this was a new experience. She let him react under her fingers, but she continued to probe out the biggest tension spots, and generally make him feel as relaxed as possible.

_"Maybe I should do this more often"_ she thought after a minute had gone by. _"It's very relaxing for me, strangely."_

* * *

An hour went by as Kaname gently went about her sort-of massage, Sousuke now laying on his back, face pointed upward but eyes discreetly watching her movements. The initial 'new experience' thing he'd been doing had faded, and both of them had to admit, her little touch was doing something good to his muscles... though they couldn't be entirely sure it was relaxing them.

And Kaname had to admit, despite the fact that she was merely massaging his muscles, she loved the strong, hard feel of them. She knew they had only gotten that way from a constant military upbringing, and were conditioned to react to most anything, but still she marveled at them (in the privacy of her thoughts, of course). And also, through this, she'd gotten her discreet feel of his scars.

"Sousuke?" she breathed, drawing his eyes instantly. "How are you feeling?"

His gaze slowly went to the ceiling, thoughtful. "I admit, this activity is very pleasant" he breathed quietly, but only in volume.

"Is that all you can say, Sergeant?" she asked, a little playfully: somehow all her previous anger/annoyance had drained away in the last half-hour.

He gulped ever so slightly, silent for a minute. "There is much more I could say" he finally admitted. "However, I feel it might be too impertinent, or that it might annoy you."

Her smile twisted a bit, but she giggled, much to his surprise. "Sousuke" she chided. "When people are together, as friends or more, there is nothing you could say that would be too 'impertinent'."

He didn't respond to his, but he continued to look at her, even as her fingers still worked on his chest.

"And besides" she said, a bit more wryly, but still soft. "You've annoyed me a lot since you came here, and I have no doubts that you'll have more moments that will annoy me... but did that stop me from liking you, or stop you from protecting me?"

"No" he said after a moment.

"Exactly" she responded, then she shifted a bit: turning herself toward him a bit, along with her fingers. "And as much as the things you do annoy me, I realize I've come to rely on them."

He blinked up at her, surprised with his mouth open slightly, but he didn't interrupt.

"When you suddenly left that day, I became very paranoid, as I said" she admitted, her fingers brushing against his neck. "I was so convinced that someone was following me... and they were. I guess some of your crazy paranoia rubbed off on me, and it saved my life."

"Being prepared is always favorable" he said lightly, noting the touch at his neck and the shift in her position (she assumed), but not moving his eyes.

"And after things were over, I broke down crying" she breathed, looking down, her expression slightly sad. "I realized then that I missed you... I missed you protecting me; I missed you doing crazy things when you misunderstood the situation; I missed you saying 'It is not a problem'."

He gasped a bit, staring up at her. "Kaname" he breathed. And when she didn't reply, the hesitant question came: "Does that mean that you... like those things about me?"

"Like?" she breathed, then she shook her head, and slowly moved her fingers onto his cheek. He gasped a bit at the touch, even as her other pair of fingers slowly touched his hair. "No, Sousuke - I love those things about you."

He was struck by this, but he didn't tense. When she noticed this, she took it as a good sign. A very good one.

"I know I never officially said this, Sousuke, but-" she breathed, fingers lightly caressing his cheek as his eyes shone a bit. "I love those things about you, and I love... you."

His eyes widened, his breathing getting heavier as she leaned in toward him.

She slowed halfway to him, a faint smile curving her lips. "You don't have to be afraid, Sergeant" she breathed. "All I'm gonna do is kiss you."

He didn't exactly relax, but he did seem slightly relieved, even as he slowly/hesitantly prepared to receive her kiss (eyes closed, mouth open slightly, etc). She was just pleased that he hadn't tensed when she'd starting leaning toward him.

She starting leaning down again, gently touching her lips to his.

_"It's so strange"_ she thought, both of them starting off slow. _"I always imagined when this happened, I'd be the one who was nervously flustered, and the guy would be the one who'd calmly guide me through this. But with Sousuke, it's the exact opposite."_

Deep down though, she felt she didn't mind too much.

* * *

Sousuke was instinctively fighting the conflicting feelings. On one hand, he was enjoying the soft feel of Kaname's kiss, and to a smaller degree the feel of her hands on his chest. But on the other hand, he was trying not to let himself give into the feelings, as he feared what might happen if he went down that path.

At least, that had been what happened during those few seconds where Kaname had leaned down toward him. Ever since then, he'd tried to relax, and simply let Kaname lead him through this. He met with some success, but not as much as he'd have liked.

The moment her lips touched his, he immediately did his best in response, drawing on the familiar patterns he'd observed. Even something as simple as moving his lips up was part of the pattern. And while he did his best on that front, they continued the relatively simple kissing for awhile.

At one point though, Kaname pulled away just an inch.

He wanted to open his eyes, but her words carefully stopped that. "You're doing great, Sergeant" she breathed against him, and he was struck by her soft tone; he'd never heard that particular version of soft before. "And normally you're supposed to lead with this."

"I-" he tried to say. "I would?"

"Yeah" she said simply. "But with you, I'm okay with the opposite. But I still expect you to try, Sergeant" she continued, then she touched her lips to his again.

Even as he instinctively continued the kissing, he considered her words. She implied that the guy was the one who was supposed to do the majority of the 'activity', which he could not fully comprehend, as he did not know what he was supposed to do beyond the kissing. However, Kaname was content with leading the activity and yet she still expected him to try, but with what?

He then remembered the 'guiding his hands' bit from previous kisses: clearly he was supposed to 'enhance' the pleasant feelings by using his hands. Slowly, ever so slowly, he reached up toward Kaname's cheeks.

When he faintly touched her cheeks, she hummed a bit, still kissing him. Fearing he did something wrong, he tried to remove his hands, but Kaname was faster in moving her hands over his. During a brief lull in their kissing, she said this with faint amusement: "Well, I'm glad to see that instruction wasn't lost on you."

He noted this, then concentrated on furthering what was already present. He moved his hands to her hair after awhile, and after noting that she seemed to like that better, he silently marveled at how soft it felt. Matter-of-fact, he was strangely reluctant to remove his hands from her hair... he focused himself though, and moved his hands down to her back and sides. The touch seemed normal, even routine to him, but even the slightest touches seemed to relax Kaname; he'd have to note that.

At the same time, he was furthering their kissing, starting by simply opening his mouth more in the kiss. Even with more experience, this was still the most pleasantly natural thing he'd ever done... and while he wondered about the sounds Kaname made into the kiss, he could still reasonably guess as to their function. He kept this up for about a minute, then he braced himself slightly, and touched his tongue to her bottom lip.

Kaname moaned faintly, surprising him, but after a moment, he somehow instinctively knew she liked it.

She confirmed that observation when her tongue joined into the mix, and his focus flickered a bit, due to the sheer warm-yet-wet feeling of their kiss. He must not know many of the subtle bits though, as she not only licked against his tongue, but his teeth and the sides of his mouth as well. He tried to keep track of it, as well as imitate her... which judging by her pleased gasps, meant he was succeeding to some degree.

He lost track of how long they did this, but when Kaname pulled away to breathe, he took the opportunity to recover, and not just in breathing. He was still on his back (shirtless), with one sweat having gone down his head during the kiss, and his hands currently in Kaname's hair. She was taking longer to recover than he was, but she remained hovering above him, her hands on his chest.

"Kaname" he breathed faintly, struck at what he'd experienced, and not really expecting an answer.

"Wow" she breathed, slowly chuckling a bit, drawing his attention. "Who knew you, Sousuke Sagara, could be so good at this?"

"I-" he breathed, then slowly returned his gaze to the ceiling of his apartment. "I guess no one - not even myself."

She was silent for a few moments, except for breathing, then she slowly crawled over him, getting right in his line of vision. Despite this, he was struck by her appearance: her cheeks were a faint red, even in the dim lighting. "Sousuke" she breathed, and he was further struck: she sounded nervous.

"Do you want to continue?"

He blinked once, looking at her. "Continue?" he asked, wondering what she meant by this. He glanced around him, including at Kaname as he said, "What do you mean by Contin-?".

Wait a minute.

He gasped, his eyes shining even as sweat ran down his head. Suddenly he couldn't tear his eyes away from the buttons on Kaname's pajamas; "Kaname, you don't mean-!" he tried to say, but couldn't complete his sentence.

His look was somewhere both soft and amused. "I'm willing, Sousuke, even if I'm still deciding on how far we go" she breathed. "There's no need to be nervous."

That last part did nothing to help his nervous breakdown, and Kaname sighed, but smiling slightly as she did so. "Oh wait, look who I'm talking to" she said to herself, then tilted her head. "But Sousuke, I promise I'm not gonna rush through this... and I imagine if you wanted to escape, you'd have done it by now."

He was struck by that implications. It was true: if he truly wanted to get away, he'd have easily removed himself away from Kaname, even subduing her if necessary. The fact that he remained lying on in the same spot, all nervousness aside, must only mean one thing: he didn't want to disappoint Kaname. And though it didn't immediately come to mind, his experience with kissing and the two 'incidents'... they had been pleasant.

And Kaname wasn't willing to hurt him (she could have done so a million times over by now); was there any harm in staying?

She slowly removed her leg from his left side, making so that she sat just to his right, her cheeks still slightly red. "If it helps, you can focus on my hands" she breathed, holding them up for him to see.

He blinked, opened his mouth to say something... then closed it, realizing that he didn't know what to say. All he could do was take this one thing at a time, even as he took her advice.

Her eyes softened a bit, but after that, her demeanor became much more nervous as her hands moved down to her lap (his eyes followed this). With his head slightly raised, he could see the very thin amount of skin between the two parts of her pajamas, along with the eight buttons the top portion showed. Her hands were nearby, but she was still for awhile, even as he simply waited. He kept his mind blank the whole time, knowing that letting his mind wander or thinking would only increase his nervousness.

Then her fingers moved, and he unconsciously tensed a little as they moved across the bottom button. Her fingers fiddled for a bit, then undid it, simply showing a little more skin.

He relaxed just the slightest; skin he could deal with easily. And he was glad Kaname had closed her eyes; having her watch his reactions when he had no clue how he'd react... well, he didn't want to disappoint her, he guessed.

The next four buttons went by without incident, showing more skin with each one undone, including her stomach's belly button at the third. Kaname's cheeks turned slightly more red as she went along, which he saw in his peripheral vision, but his focus still remained on her working hands. In the back of his mind though, he was relieved that he wasn't going in shock simply from watching this, all things considered. Perhaps there was the slightest chance that he'd get through the rest of the unbuttoning with his composure intact.

Then she started working on the sixth button, and she glanced away slightly, which he noted. Once it came undone and the fabric parted, his determination to keep his composure suddenly became a lot more difficult when he saw a splash of white. So much for that slight chance.

Kaname remained looking away, her cheeks red as she slowly unbuttoned the remaining two. And with each button undone, Sousuke's composure became nearly impossible to maintain, then snapped, in that order.

In his sheer nervousness-bordering-on-panic, he missed Kaname's blush deepening at his gasp, along with her slowly pulling her top off her body completely. He also missed a few of the details, such as the slight lace on the edges, but he still easily got the general image.

Across from him, Kaname slowly put her pajama top off to the side, then looked back at him. Her cheeks were red, her arms were wrapped around her own waist, and she retained the nervous expression. "Sousuke?" she breathed.

He blinked several times, then his head jerked and he gasped again, and he struggled for composure. "Ah, yes Ms Chi- Kaname?"

She moved closer to him, bending over slightly to look at him, her expression nervous but knowing. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

Her bending over gave him a clear view of her cleavage. He barely avoided going back into that panicked nervousness, his eyes shining, then he jerked again and closed his eyes, that being the only way to regain his composure. "I do not know yet."

* * *

Kaname really did feel for Sousuke: he literally had no experience with any of this, and she was just as nervous as he was, but she was holding out for him.

It had been hard for her to start unbuttoning her pajamas, but still, she thought that Sousuke had to experience the first time at some point... as did she. Still, she was surprised at how well Sousuke was taking this, all things considered. Actually, she thought he'd enter that panicked seizure-type state much earlier than he had. _"But I wonder how much longer he can hold out"_ she thought to herself, sighing there. _"Even the extremely talented Sergeant has his limits."_

She leaned closer, looking right at him. "Are you okay?" she asked gently, trying to show she knew what he was going through.

He gasped again, his eyes shining, but she couldn't understand why. Then his eyes snapped shut as he seemed to try becoming still. "I do not know yet" he said, trying for a normal tone.

She blinked once, wondering what made him so nervous again. Then she glanced down at herself, and realized with embarrassment that because she'd bent over slightly, he must have gotten a little 'view'. No wonder he reacted the way he did.

_"What do I do?"_ she thought, her arms tightening a bit around her waist as she quickly sat up. _"What do I say to him?"_

They were both silent as she thought about this, looking at him continue to struggle for composure... then: "Sousuke?" she breathed, startling him as the silence was broken. "I know part of what you must be feeling, but I just want you to know, it's okay. All right? If you want to stop now, or continue the way you want to... it's all right. I'll wait."

His eyes opened, staring at her face as he digested this, while she gave him a soft smile. Then to prove her point, she closed her eyes and lowered her head a bit, letting her bangs hide her eyes.

The minutes passed by slowly, while she simply focused on her breathing. But what Sousuke didn't seem to know was that though her bangs hid her eyes from other's, it didn't stop her from seeing through them, at least not completely. And during those minutes, she saw three things: Sousuke trying to regain his composure, that look that said he was trying to decide what to do... and very subtle looks/glances at her bra.

She was both embarrassed and flattered by that last one.

But despite all efforts otherwise, she began to get annoyed when the minutes went over ten. She knew Sousuke needed time, and other things for his composure, but this was getting ridiculous! Her eyebrow began twitching while her expression hardened just a bit.

That was, until she felt just the slightest touch on the fabric of her bra. And she did mean the _slightest_ touch.

She just barely stopped herself from reacting, much as she wanted to: she wanted so much to gasp, and blush as she panted, even at this slightest touch. But she knew better, because if she so much as flinched before he properly got his hands on her, he'd pull himself away in an instant... and it'd take him forever to try again. It was the hardest thing she ever did.

It took him awhile before his fingers moved again, but they did, slowly pressing them against her bra. This simple touch send a thrill through her body, and it became harder not to react. When his fingers hesitantly touched the small amount of skin she showed, she couldn't help it: she gasped, her head snapping up slightly.

Sousuke gasped as well, and just as she predicted, he tried to pull away... but luckily, she was faster, grasping his hands before he got more than half-an-inch away. He made a slightly strangled sound, staring at her as he panted, even as she did something similar.

"No, don't Sousuke" she breathed, her cheeks red. "I... I-I want you to" she continued embarrassingly, pulling him back half-an-inch.

She actually worried that he was gonna faint on her from his expression alone, and don't even get her started on the sound he made. She felt worried as she realized this; he must be approaching his limit. "But look, Sousuke, if you don't want to, I perfectly understand!" she said quickly. "And maybe I came on too strong with this, I mean I can't blame you; I must have slacking in my instruction, and you've never experienced this before-!"

She couldn't stop talking suddenly, and as such, she barely noticed Sousuke simply staring at her as she babbled. Or the fact that he was more focused on her talk than where his hands were, confusion over why she was still talking as time went on, some quick thinking-over look... then an extremely nervous-determined look as he sat up a little.

Kaname gasped, throwing her head back: his hands had just lightly squeezed her breasts, sending a thrill through her, even with her bra still on. Her blush deepening, she looked back at Sousuke, panting and stunned that he could have actually done that.

"Forgive me" he said with some struggle, sweating, his hands still on her breasts only because he (apparently) couldn't move them. "I could see that you were not gonna stop anytime soon, so I... decided I needed a more blunt approach. Was that wrong?"

Her eyes shone as she stared at him, her cheeks red as she smiled. "Oh Sousuke!" she breathed happily, tackling him in a hug, much to his surprise. Because of this, she missed how he freaked out at the feel of her bra'd chest on his bare one.

"Kaname?" he breathed after several long moments, utterly confused by the sound of it. "What did I do?"

"You've made progress, Sergeant" she whispered gently, sitting up, feeling unable to be angry or annoyed with him right now. "How about making just a little more?"

He blinked several times, his gaze briefly flicking to the ceiling in thought, then back at her. "If you're asking if I'm alright with continuing this activity, then-" he said, breathing out a little. "I don't know."

She smiled, then simply came closer slowly, getting his attention. She surprised him by kissing him on the lips, long enough to enjoy it, but quick enough that he couldn't respond to her affection. "Well then, how about this?" she breathed softly. "We'll just continue until it becomes too much for you... okay?"

He didn't respond for awhile, but he continued to look at her, his expression slightly softer than his usual blank one. "I- I trust you, Kaname" he whispered faintly. "But, if I'm unable to continue, what shall I say to end it for tonight?"

"I think that's simple, Sergeant" she said, faintly amused as she pulled back just a bit. "'Stop' should do."

"Understood" he answered, looking up at her.

It eventually dawned on her, again, that he didn't know how to proceed. So she sighed a bit, slowly bringing her legs over the side of the bed, even more embarrassed by what she was about to do. Sousuke followed her every movement, but for the most part, his gaze remained on her hands. When her fingers dug into to the waistband, he glanced up at her slightly, slowly returning down to them.

She took in a breath and let it out, then started pulling.

She heard him gasp, and she guessed he must be panicking, but she couldn't see anything with her eyes closed. So she concentrated on pulling: it was easy enough for the first foot or two, then she had to lift up her legs to pull them down further, finally getting them off one leg at a time. She didn't do anything beyond that, knowing it was hard enough for Sousuke, but eventually she did look at him, only her head turned.

Just as she thought, he was somewhere in the depths of that panicked seizure state again, his body shaking. However: "K-Kaname... does this stage... require anything?"

She was surprised that he could speak at all, not to mention the question he just asked. She glanced down at herself, saw what he meant, and was further embarrassed. "Uh... no" she breathed, arms wrapping around her waist. "That's optional."

He breathed out in relief, his head briefly bobbing forward with his eyes closed. "Thank you" he said simply, leaning his head back, but not opening his eyes.

She looked at him for a long while, both embarrassed and faintly amazed that he'd made it this far. "Sousuke?" she whispered softly.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to stop for the night?" she breathed. "Of course, if you think you can handle more... I'm up for it."

"I-" he breathed, then took in a breath and let it out, opening his eyes but keeping his gaze on the ceiling. "I am afraid that... I am not, Kaname. I am sorry, but I must stop now."

Despite all things considered, she was disappointed by his answer; still, she managed a small smile. "I guess I don't blame you" she breathed, standing up slowly. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Uh, yes" he answered, his eyes glanced at her, but only enough to see her face. "I would like to request a small break in our teachings, for now. I require time to compose myself, and go over... everything."

She slowly bent down, getting her pajamas off the floor. "Of course" she whispered, putting them on slowly, then pulling her long hair out from under them. "Goodnight."

She got no answer, which made her sad, but still she turned toward the door. She grasped the handle, opened the door slowly and got herself through the crack... but before she closed all the way behind her, she heard a faint whisper:

"Good night."

She paused, and blushed faintly without knowing why. After a few seconds, she simply closed the door behind her, making the faintest creak to indicate it shutting.

* * *

**I knew they weren't gonna speed through this, but still, it took awhile lol. And still a ways to go**


	8. Experienced?

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

Sousuke stirred on his bed, completely still otherwise, and uneasy.

The source of his unease was a mystery. His apartment was well defended, there was no way to get in without heavy resistance, and anything that managed to make past the first inch would immediately alert him. Then they'd have to deal with his many traps, and his extensive experience with weapons and fighting. It was theoretically impossible for his safety to be comprised.

_"Sousuke?"_

_His eyes snapped open, and he looked around wildly. One moment he'd been lying down, the next thing he knew, he was sitting in a chair bound by some fabric around everything but his head, with his captor standing behind- wait, his captor was Kaname?_

_"What's wrong?" she asked, standing there with a faintly concerned expression, a pair of scissors in one hand. Despite the potential weapon though, she made no moves toward him, merely stood there a few feet away._

_Breathing faintly, he quickly looked around at his surroundings. He recognized the place as Kaname's apartment, and he was sitting in a chair in front of the large mirror, and the fabric 'binding' him was just some makeshift blankets... and they weren't even really binding now that he realized it. In addition, observing Kaname out of the corner of his eye, he realized she was wearing those jean shorts, and the faintly short white shirt that showed off some of her stomach._

_"Is this" he thought slowly. "Is this a recreation of my - haircut?"_

_He had to admit; every single detail of that event was in place, right down to the bottles used for hair management in front of him. If this was an illusion, it was a pretty faithful recreation. "If it is one though, I must find something that is out of place to prove it."_

_"Sousuke?" he heard again, and he realized he had not answered her. "Uh, no I am alright. It is not a problem."_

_In the mirror's reflection, she saw him simply look at them, then appear to simply dismiss it. "All right, let's get started" she breathed, getting closer with the scissors._

_He struggled not to tense up._

_Her fingers hesitantly touched his hair, and he felt the tip of the hard metal probe along with them, even as she grasped a few strands of hair to cut. And the moment she cut that inch of hair off, he remembered that was the exact same spot as the actual haircut. If this was an illusion, they'd gone to great lengths to accurately represent this event._

_The haircut went by slowly, while he kept a focus on anything that might out-of-line from his memory. So far though, everything was the exact same, even the dialogue: it was really well done._

_Then she stood beside him, silent. "Would you mind turning your head to the right?" she asked, just like in his memory._

_"Uh, sure" he answered, turning his head to the left, just as he had done, only to be immediately corrected by Kaname's hands. And he found himself extremely uncomfortable with the result: Kaname bent over slightly, the shirt falling forward enough to reveal a modest amount of cleavage, and some hints of her bra._

_"Extremely accurate, every detail" he thought, despite his uncomfortable state. "Even this is exactly as it happened."_

_He quickly averted his eyes, even as he did that day. However, instead of moving to just slightly behind him, Kaname stayed just to his right (however, she thankfully stood up straighter). "Hmm, just this little bit here" she breathed, aiming to cute at a piece of hair by his neck._

_"This is not what happened next" he thought grimly, tensing. "This is not accurate; it must be an illusion."_

_The moment she cut that piece of hair, it simply landed by his neck. And suddenly, the scissors bladed edge was also at his throat._

_"Sweet dreams, Sergeant" she whispered, her voice suddenly murderous._

_He should have been able to react quickly; he should have grabbed her by the hand, subdued her easily and had a gun pointed at her head, despite all past experiences being her friend. But he couldn't: he was literally frozen to the spot, only his eyes could move. And what he saw was a Kaname who's hair hid her eyes from sight, sporting a killer smile that horribly reminded him of Gauron._

_Then she slit his-_

He sprang up with a wild cry, guns in both hands as he wildly looked around for the intruder, panting heavier than he'd ever done before and soaked in sweat. But no one was there: the room was empty, and none of his traps had been triggered.

It took him minutes before he recovered, in the remotest sense of the word, and he remained on high alert for any sigh of sound or movement. Even afterward, he was massively uneasy.

He slowly looked beside him... his clock read 5:06 AM. Far too late to go back to sleep, if he could even get back to sleep in the first place.

Still breathing faster than normal, he slowly got up, but the cold air across his chest confused him. Much to his mortification, he realized he was still shirtless from last night; he must have fallen asleep soon after Kaname had left. And that meant he'd been completely vulnerable to any attack that managed to slip past his defenses. Damn it!

_"I must do better"_ he thought grimly, immediately pulling his clothes on, including the bulletproof vest and his civilian uniform. _"I cannot afford another mistake like that."_

He didn't say or think another word for quite awhile, just went about his early morning business, and making sure all his traps and weapons were in order. Everything checked out, then he covertly drew the window curtain back just an inch... it was very quiet outside, with barely any activity at all. And after that initial scan, his gaze drew to the apartment window one level below him, on the building next to him: Kaname's.

Her window was also covered by a curtain, and was unlit by any lighting sources, but he remained gazing for a long time. His thoughts kept drifting to both his nightmare, and a purposefully hazy version of last night's encounter with Kaname.

It had been months since she'd given him that haircut, and he'd never once had a nightmare about it. So why did it choose now to reoccur in that manner? He did admit it had been a bit of a big risk to let her cut his hair, but out of all the civilians in the city, she was the only one he remotely trusted to even consider doing that. And the risk had payed off, as she simply cut his hair and that was that, and he'd even _dozed off_ in her apartment. As much as he kicked himself for letting that happen, he realized that said a lot about his trust for her.

_"But perhaps"_ he thought faintly. _"That trust had some doubt in there, somewhere, and that's what caused my nightmare?"_

He had little else to confirm/deny that thought; he was not a psychiatrist. And the only other evidence for his nightmare's appearance was the similar big risk in letting Kaname give him some physical experience last night, but that could have just as easily been a coincidence as not.

He felt glad that he'd requested the break in their instruction. Because from the look of things, he'd need to think carefully about a few more things than he'd planned... actually, add-onto that: he needed some time to prepare himself for next time as well, as he'd said to Kaname. He remembered his usual process of thinking wouldn't serve him well in this situation.

* * *

_The next day; a month total_

Kaname finished up the dishes from dinner, glancing at the time: 7:39 PM. She really didn't know why she anxiously waiting for a sign from him. After all, HE had been the one to ask for a break.

Still, one thing remained in her mind: she was infuriated, but fighting the instinct. Specifically, she was infuriated with the fact that throughout their entire 'encounter' a few nights ago, she'd been thoroughly incapable of being annoyed/angry at Sousuke... so part of her was infuriated that she'd become so soft for him, that the slightest effort on his part was making her turn into a mushy schoolgirl, minus the giggling.

But her better judgement fought that instinct. She knew there were a lot of things to consider here, not just her feelings: not only did she have some sort of dream/wish/whatever that she'd find the right guy, but she knew Sousuke was making a lot of progress fast, and he was doing the best he could. So apparently in practice, she was infuriated at herself for being overjoyed that he was finally making progress...

How did that make any sense? Then again, she'd recently found out she was having her period, and that caused all sorts of problems...

_"Whatever"_ she thought offhandedly, continuing her work with more force than necessary. _"Sousuke is doing well despite everything that could go wrong, and I have to work through this. Problem is, some part of me seems determined to make up for last night, and be even more harsh."_

She sighed, clenching the edge of the kitchen counter. "If this keeps up, and Sousuke just decides tonight to do more, there's gonna be trouble" she said, her face faintly blank. "Not that it's likely he'll choose tonight; he was very freaked out... and now I'm talking to myself. Great."

Knock Knock

She was surprised, and quickly dried her hands. "Who could that be?" she wondered as she approached the door, opening it.

She gasped, "Sousuke!" she cried, freaking out. He couldn't possibly be here to-

"Kaname" he greeted, hands in his pockets strangely. "May I come in? There is something I would like to discuss with you."

She just stood there, blinking slowly.

* * *

Kaname poured the tea, the apartment quiet, Sousuke sitting patiently at the table in her apartment.

She kept glancing at him, wondering what this was about: ever since she'd let him in, he hadn't said much, except if he could have the tea she was preparing. No mention of what he wanted to talk about yet. So she took the fainting steaming cup of tea, and brought it over to him. "Here you go" she said, placing it in front of him. "Now can you tell me what you wanted to discuss?" she asked, sitting down opposite him.

He took a moment to sip at the tea, then set it down on the table, placing his hands in front of him. "Kaname" he stated faintly. "Just after you left my apartment, I fell asleep. And I had a nightmare, about your haircut to me some time ago."

Kaname merely blinked, at a complete loss of what to say. _"Why is he coming to me for this?"_ she wondered, then she felt some annoyance. "Who has nightmares about a haircut of all things?"

"Apparently me" he answered evenly, his gaze on his hands. "It was a big sacrifice for me to lower my guard that night, allowing you to cut my hair... and in my nightmare, while most everything happened the way it did in real life, in my nightmare, you slit my throat with scissors."

She was shocked, not only at the sheer casual way he'd said that, but at the fact that despite it being a big sacrifice for him, he still allowed her to do so. "You-" she started to say, then stopped, not sure where she was going with that. "Have you ever had nightmares about it before?"

He looked up slowly. "No, that nightmare was the first time" he answered. "And it only happened after I took a similar big risk last night."

"Oh, so last night was a big risk for you?" she asked, her tone hard as her fists clenched involuntarily.

He nodded slowly. "Yes" he answered quietly. "You are the only one I could trust enough to go that far."

She gasped, her cheeks turning red as she stared at him, hand going to just above her chest. Souske merely looked at her, but he was certainly more... at ease about it then when he'd arrived in Tokyo. It was a very subtle difference in his expressions that you couldn't tell if you didn't know him. Matter-of-fact, in most everything he did now, he was more at ease than she'd ever seen.

She softened a bit overtime, glancing away slightly as she tried not to go completely mushy. "So... did the nightmare affect you?" she asked slowly, looking back at him.

"No more than immediately after I awoke" he said, glancing down at his fingers again. "I do not know if it is a coincidence or not yet, but I will do what I can" he continued evenly. "If I have other nightmares, then most likely they are related to the big risks I've said. If they do not, then it's likely they're a coincidence - either way, I will require more study, and I wanted to be sure you were aware of this Kaname, just in case."

"So, is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" she asked, relieved that he hadn't been overly affected by his nightmare, then annoyed at that relief, much to her frustration.

"In part" he admitted, looking back up at her, and looking distinctly nervous now. "And about that last night, before my nightmare. I believe I have recovered from it."

She gasped again, the blush returning full force. "A-And you want another, um, experience?" she asked, completely flustered as she wrapped her arms around her own waist.

He took a moment to answer, but he did: "Yes, and as soon as possible" he said, part of it sounding difficult to him. "In the past, when confronted with situations like this, I simply shut down because I had no experience to draw on. That, plus my overly thinking mind and discipline... it means when I was alone yesterday, Kaname, my mind kept going over everything we did. The result is I got more nervous for next time, but I'm trying to suppress those thoughts, as extra nervousness will not serve me. Also, further experience will help prove or disprove theories about my nightmare."

"I-I'm afraid-" she breathed, then changed mid-tone. "That's not possible right now, Sergeant!"

While surprised by her sudden aggressive tone, he looked back at her without fear. "Why is that?"

She got right in his face: "What, haven't you ever heard of a girl's monthly problem! Well, I'm in the middle of it!" she yelled in his face.

He blinked, "Monthly Prob-" he started to breathe, completely confused, but then he stopped. He briefly glanced upward, then glanced right at the shorts she was wearing (this infuriated her), then his expression cleared up some. "Are you referring to the monthly bleeding thing all females go through after puberty?"

"Oh, so you finally figured it out" she said sarcastically, drawing back into a standing position, her expression annoyed. She didn't know why she was so annoyed at him all of a sudden, but she had a sneaking suspicion about exactly what the cause was.

"I'll take that as a yes" he said evenly, then he stood up. "When do you think this will stop?"

"Look, it's not an exact process, Sagara" she snapped at him, poking him in the chest. "I haven't a clue when that will happen anymore than you would!"

"I see" he answered faintly. "In that case, Kaname, I will simply be at my apartment, waiting patiently. Contact me when you feel it has stopped" he said easily, turning and walking out, leaving her staring after him in sheer shock.

Then came another surge of irrational anger: which led to her saying "Damn him! That idiot!", among other things.

But in hindsight, she knew this could have gone a LOT worse. And she still felt her heart racing from Sousuke's oblivious bold look at her shorts.

* * *

_Two days later_

Sousuke walked steadily, aiming towards Kaname's apartment.

He'd been patient for the past two days, waiting for a sign from Kaname that she was ready - which he had received an hour earlier, in the form of a text message from her phone:

_Sousuke_

_It's stopped now. Come over to my apartment at 8:00 PM sharp, and we will continue your physical instruction. Just don't try anything stupid._

_Kaname_

He was a little confused exactly what she meant by 'anything stupid', but he figured it had to mean something like all of his misunderstandings. There was little else that could support her words. Also, while he wished to understand how they would proceed with his instruction, he also did his best to suppress any thoughts in that area: they've proven multiple times to increase his nervousness, and that would only hinder his abilities. So he simply resolved to take things as they came.

He arrived about five seconds ahead of schedule, which he used to unlock her apartment door. "Kaname?" he spoke to the air, closing the door behind him quickly.

When there was no answer, he quickly scanned his surroundings, hand brushing against a gun hidden on his person. He didn't see Kaname, there was no sign of a struggle, or indeed any real evidence that something was wrong, and yet- wait, there was a piece of paper in plain sight. He approached it, reading it quickly while still on the lookout for trouble.

_If you're reading this, Sousuke, you're on time. Your first task in this instruction is to proceed to my bed, sit down, and be shirtless just like you did last time. I will join you shortly, coming from my bathroom - Kaname_

His suspicions eased for now, he removed his hand from the gun on his person, and slowly proceeded to her bedroom. True to her note, the bathroom door was closed, and he heard movement in there (easily confirmed as Kaname's). Thinking back to last time, he knew he must remove his civilian uniform, armor and undershirt again.

He took in a deep breath and let it out, then he slowly proceeded to do so, sitting on her bed to wait afterward.

There was a subtle 'click' on the doorknob, which immediately drew his attention: Kaname was about to come into the bedroom. However, much to his surprise, the door opened slowly, and only 4/10's of the way... enough room for Kaname's head to stick out, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Kaname?" he asked, blinking once. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry, Sousuke, it's just embarrassing" she breathed, her cheeks reddening as she looked away. "But still, I see you saw my note."

"Yes, I did" he answered evenly. "However, why did you leave a note instead of instructing in person?"

She hung her head, sighing. "Because Sousuke" she said with a fairly flat expression. "What I have planned this time is different. If we started exactly as we did last time, you'd lose your nerve shortly after you did then."

_"Hmm"_ he thought. _"That is fairly logical, but I have yet to see how her instruction will go."_

Aloud he asked: "If the instruction is different, why the need for secrecy?". This was referring to the fact that she was hiding behind her bathroom door.

"Because you'd freak out if I just did this suddenly" she snapped, but only slightly, and he got the impression that her snap was from embarrassment, which he couldn't completely understand; how was she currently embarrassed?

"Very well" he said, turning to face her, but still sitting on her bed. "Shall we begin?"

She sighed, then she opened the door slowly, stepping outside it. And he came close to freaking out: she was half-naked.

"My face is up here, Sergeant" she said, and he gasped as he quickly snapped up to her face, which was flatly (and embarrassingly) amused. "But you've still got the right idea."

"I-" he started to say, blinking. "I beg your pardon?"

She slowly walked toward the bed, though she went to his right as well. "It's fairly simple" she said, taking her spot in front of him (he quickly adjusted to give her room, forcing his focus on her face). "We will not be doing a repeat of last time; your nerve would run out at roughly the same time... so, we're doing something different here."

"That does make some sense" he said, less easily than he'd have liked. "However, what will we do this time?"

She giggled, much to his confusion. "What do you think, Sousuke?" she said, smirking. "Before we can get anywhere, we got to get you relaxed... or at least as un-uncomfortable as possible."

"How-How will we proceed?" he asked, finding himself inexplicably wanting to flick his eyes down to her bra; was that natural?

She came closer to him, on her hands and knees, making him a bit nervous as she did so. "'We', Sagara-" she said, touching her whole hand to his chest, pushing him backward. "will simply lay down, and go from there."

He was surprised by this, but he complied with her push, lying on his back on her bed. He also watched as Kaname crawled in beside him, laying down on her side on his right, while he respectfully turned his body onto his side to face her. It was also harder to deny the urge to glance at her bra from this position, thanks to how close they were. He felt a bead of sweat run down his the left side of his face when her arms slowly found his shoulders.

"Did my instruction on 'taking the initiative' fall on deaf ears, Sousuke?" she asked him, surprising him.

"Uh, no" he answered, blinking. "I was just a little unsure of what to do next."

She merely gave him a flat amused look. After that though, she closed her eyes, moved her head closer to his and opened her lips slightly.

By now, he was familiar with how to proceed with kisses, even if a few details continued to be difficult for him. He did much the same, slowly touching his lips to hers, and beginning their routine with the slow movements. Kaname made a sound into the kiss, pulling him closer just a bit as she responded to his movements, while he felt himself starting to sweat a little. The reason for his nervousness was that while he was familiar with this aspect, he was still under-prepared the rest of it, involving her bra.

But he could not afford to shut down.

* * *

He and Kaname were in a tangle, so to speak.

Technically they'd been going at 'making out' for about an hour, exactly as they'd started in clothing. However, the sheer amount of passion he'd received, and imitated, had seriously dulled his restraint. He held her just as tightly as she did, not to mention made a few of the same sounds, just in a deeper tone. And though it was hard to keep track, they'd changed positions quite a bit for a simple kissing session... or at least, the duration of one.

Then Kaname's mouth eagerly sucked on his tongue, and the sheer sensation of it all blurred his thoughts once again.

The intensity, the simple yet complex feeling of contact, the way previously simple touches could invoke such reactions from him; it was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. And the moment he thought this, he realized his hand had unconsciously moved on it's own, to firmly grip Kaname's left breast.

At first he was afraid, on two levels: one, that his own body reacted without his knowledge, and two, that Kaname would dislike it. But Kaname's breathy gasp (or was it something else?) made him uncertain... until she truly moaned this time, unmistakably with pleasure.

On some level, he still wasn't entirely sure this wasn't the best course of action - but he moved anyway, having his other hand join in.

He had made this observation before, but the feel of a women's breasts - he had nothing he could compare it to. Even through her bra, they felt so soft, and his every movement seemed to please Kaname to no end. His thoughts briefly blurred during a small break, where he was allowed to catch his breath, before Kaname eagerly seized his mouth again. Quite frankly, he was amazed at Kaname's actions: when she was thoroughly engrossed in this activity, she had little of her usual behavior... then again, the same could be said for him right now.

His fingers brushed against the middle of her right breast, and Kaname moaned again. It wasn't until five seconds later that he realized it wasn't a general reaction; it was a specific one.

But why?

Even as he continued their activity, he tested it again, and got the same result.

_"Direct middle"_ he thought, vaguely. _"What could... ugh, what is there that could make that result?"_

Two seconds later, he cursed himself for being sluggish: _what else_ could possibly be at the direct center of a women's breast?

On the other hand, it was a useful observation that she was particularly sensitive in that area. Then for the umpteenth time, they switched positions again, with him laying over her and she on her back. As he'd come to realize, each position had it's own advantages and disadvantages, not to mention the complex calculating over which position he preferred, and which position Kaname preferred. She'd been extremely apt to compare this to military warfare: both used tactics and strategies to pursue and ultimately reach the desired goal, with much adjusting based on their needs and changes in situation.

At first, it had been weird to be involved with an ally (Kaname), working toward a goal together... and the 'enemy' was not something he could directly touch or engage. It was still weird, but he was working through it.

Kaname broke their kiss - he took the opportunity to catch his breath - then in an instant, her mouth seized upon the junction between his neck and his right shoulder. Her teeth bit into his skin-

-and his instincts took over. He felt the pain, but he did not cry out: he instantly jumped away from Kaname (who gave off a desperate/sad/disappointed mewl at his sudden withdrawal), expertly flipped himself in midair and landed on his feet. He was breathing heavily, sweating with a stun-gun pointed at Kaname in one hand, the other gripping his minor wound. He tried to speak, but found himself nearly incapacitated... and worse still, his aim was off, and he had to focus merely to aim accurately.

Note to self: being deeply involved in intimate activities dulls restraint, reaction, and response times. Must adjust as needed in future situations.

Across from him, Kaname had made this little grasp for him, but she'd flopped onto her bed as a result. She too was breathy heavily, and recovering much more slowly, based on all appearances. Because of this, he had no other choice but to wait as she slowly picked herself up, blinked heavily, and stared uncomprehendingly at his stun-gun before he could even attempt to speak:

"Why did you bite me?"

Kaname blinked twice more, and then seemed to realize what she was staring at. Strangely though, she didn't scared or surprised... "Why did I do what?" she breathed, sounding dazed.

She really didn't know, so he stepped closer slowly, keeping himself at the ready every second. And when close enough, showed her his mark: a small area that had broken the skin, and was reddening rapidly. "Why did you do this?" he asked again in a hard tone.

Her eyebrows slowly furrowed, but that was it. "I don't remember doing that, but everything is a bit hazy" she whispered faintly, and rather slowly. "But I think it's called a hickey" she continued, slowly resting her head, eyes half-closing. "Go on... look it up."

Still looking at her, he slowly lowered his stun-gun, but he kept himself ready for any signs of movement nonetheless.

And one quick search later, he was surprised to learn that she had indeed told the truth: that was a 'hickey' she'd inflicted on him, though it could also be 'inflicted' by sucking on his skin. But despite knowing what it was and how it happened, it all made absolutely no sense to him... what could possibly be gained by doing this action? According to the search, it could even be seen as a sign that the couple had 'done it', and given inappropriate assumptions based on it. Plus, in addition to nothing having been gained, there was little to be lost either, considering that this 'hickey' could only inflict minor damage to a person's neck and/or arms.

He removed himself from his search, and walked back into Kaname's bedroom. "Kaname, exactly what is-?"

He stopped: Kaname was exactly as he'd left her, just now fast asleep.

He stood there, unsure of what to do next. But with his mind still a little hazy from their recent activity, he could just begin to appreciate the curves of her body...

He made a sound, and strove to control himself: yes, Kaname is beautiful in many respects, but now is not the time to pursue those thoughts. But still the question remained: what to do next?

* * *

**Well, Sousuke's doing well enough :) And Kaname would only ever do things like this while already deep into their 'activity' so... they're both good, more-or-less, lol**

**Btw, the nightmare was one of the nods to the manga, in case you didn't know.**


	9. Trouble

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

Kaname stirred faintly, her eyes heavy, but her body comfortable on her bed.

_"Wah! It's morning! Wah! Get up, Kaname! If you don't, you'll be late! Wah!"_

*Click*

She sighed, her arm still outstretched over his clock. _"Why must it always wake me up just as I feel like I want to lay here for awhile longer?"_ she thought, slowly sitting up and stretching with a yawn. Her body suddenly felt a little cold, but you know, morning air and all that. _"But strangely, I dreamed Sousuke and I were, uh, very close last night. But somewhere along the way, he jumped away and threatened me with a stun-gun... scary stuff."_

Much to her annoyance, the cold chill didn't go away, so she opened her eyes and looked down at herself. Much to her shocked embarrassment, she was half-naked.

_"What the-! What happened!?"_ she thought in a panic. Unless...

...it hadn't been a dream. Ohhh boy.

Her face burning, she otherwise tried to put it out of her mind as she hurried to get dressed in her pajamas, which took only a minute overall. Still, when she walked toward her bedroom door, intending to get breakfast, a surprise was pinned to her door:

_Kaname_

_Do not be alarmed, but by the time you wake up today, you will find that I have already made breakfast for you, and am physically present in your apartment. You may wonder why I took the liberty to do so, but I still have some questions about last night._

_And do not worry; I did not disturb you during your sleep._

_Sousuke_

She blinked twice, staring at the note. Sousuke had stayed in her apartment all night, him leaving her alone notwithstanding, and made her breakfast merely because he had some questions? Or he had questions, but he still stayed in the apartment and made her breakfast of his own free will?

A small blush slowly came to her cheeks. In his own weird, hopeless way, he'd stayed to protect her, and even made her breakfast... no matter how it tasted, that was pretty sweet of him. She had a small smile for some reason, then she opened her door, and peered inside.

True to his note, Sousuke was seated in a chair at the table, which had a small breakfast prepared for her. He looked up even before she finished opening the door: "Kaname" he greeted in his usual way. "You're awake."

"Uh, yeah" she said faintly, glancing at the breakfast he'd made. The food itself was... sloppy was the best word, she guessed; was that his first time making them, having most likely been used to military rations? And what about the taste? For some unrelated reason though, staring at the food made something deep down inside her stir...

Anyway, she crossed over and sat down, though she was slow in actually eating. They eat in relative silence, not that this was really unusual where Sousuke was concerned, but that 'something' soon materialized: a growing frustration bordering on hatred. She thought she knew exactly what the question was, but she didn't have the answer, and Sousuke would probably be clueless as far as anyone concerned. Still, what did she have to lose at this point? That idiot had long since proven that little could truly faze him...

"This is ridiculous" she stated quietly, picking at a spot in her food.

Sousuke glanced up at her. "Is that a personal statement?"

"No" she said flatly, not looking up.

He was unfazed: "Then please articulate."

She looked up, annoyed. "Why aren't I angry with you?"

He blinked once with no change of expression. "Pardon?"

"Look at us" she said, rather loudly. "Look at me! Ever since you came here, I've been absolutely furious with you for the slightest misunderstandings that blew up in your face - literally, in some cases! Matter-of-fact, me being angry with you was normal! And now? Now I'm fawning over you like a idiotic schoolgirl, just less mushy, and it's ridiculous! What happened to that!?"

Infuriatingly, Sousuke was still unfazed over her outburst, leaving her to roll her eyes and facepalm.

"You are *pause* conflicted over this change, and how it makes you act toward me?"

Slowly, she removed her hand, looking at him. She didn't say anything, and she was sure her expression was fairly neutral, but inside... she wasn't sure yet.

When her silence stretched for awhile, he straightened a bit. "Kaname, it is not-" he started to say, before he stopped, amazingly. And good thing too; him saying "It is not a problem" when clearly it was would have made her smack him.

He looked right at her. "It _should_ not be a problem, Kaname" he said slowly.

She looked off to her left. "And what makes you say that?" she asked quietly.

He purposefully leaned to his right, getting into her vision anyway. "Because" he stated simply. "Whether you are angry with me or not Kaname, you are still you. A change in the ratio of anger-to-other emotions is not worthy of inner turmoil."

She sighed. "When you say it like that, that makes it _sooo_ easy to undo" she said with an edge. "Just like 'that'."

Whether he got her sarcasm or not was unknown, but he appeared to consider something for awhile, right before he audibly got up. She didn't move at this, but when Sousuke slowly got down in front of her, she wasn't even sure what to do... until he started leaning forward, making her heart pound and her eyes shine. She was too paralyzed to prevent him from touching her lips, but with great (reluctant) effort, she turned her head away. "No, Sousuke" she breathed weakly, struggling for a reason not to. "It's wrong, me not being angry at you..."

He turned her head back to face him. "It is not a problem" he said faintly.

Then he hesitantly kissed her again, and the simple pleasure of it all made her stop fighting it after awhile; she no longer really cared about that little idea. In fact, before she knew it, she'd physically wrapped herself around Sousuke, and she didn't just mean with her arms; her legs too. He'd been heavily surprised by this, as evident in his gasp, but he managed to hold her up easily. This was in addition to their 'battle' involving their tongues, which she was really getting into.

Somewhere during this blur, and apparently during a break in their kissing, she heard: "Uh, would it be permitted to sit on your bed?"

She didn't hear herself say anything, but her head did move somewhat like a nod, she thought.

/

When next she was aware of herself, during another break in their kissing, Kaname was laying on her bed, Sousuke by her left side.

To her, Sousuke looked nervously determined, much as he did when they did their sessions. But there was more to it; he also looked a little lost, like he didn't know what to do next. And after the intensity of the kisses, Kaname felt closer to him than she ever had before... but still, despite all that, she knew she couldn't just rush him into this. At best, he'd just wriggle out of her grip, and at worst physically subdue her.

A few vague ideas came, but only one really stuck; it was embarrassing, but it might, _might_ have Sousuke please her.

"Kaname?"

"Uh, yeah?" she breathed, literally inches away; they could feel each other's breath.

Even as he lay there, in a slight sweat over their closeness, he still retained some composure. "Do you wish to uh, repeat last night?" he asked. "Because then, before my instinctive reaction to the 'hickey', you seemed to really be into physically teaching me."

Her cheeks turned pink. "I was" she breathed, a little embarrassed already by what their next session might be like. "But uh, no... I don't exactly want a repeat tonight, Sousuke."

He merely tilted his head, blinking once.

She glanced away for a bit. "I uh" she breathed. "I wish to well, skip ahead a step or two."

She expected him to be shocked, but the sheer intensity of his reaction surprised her; he actually staggered off the bed, stepping back two steps, but nothing more. His panicked look and the extra sweating-bullets was simply par for the course.

She slowly sighed; this whole thing could easily go either way, might as well try right? "Look, you don't have to do anything" she said mildly, not looking at him as she undid her pajama top. "Really, you just have to get used to a new sight, and that's all" she continued, sensing rather than seeing Sousuke's hanging onto her every word to compose himself.

So, when she continued undressing, she continued to talk a bit to help him out. After pulling off the pants, she turned her back to him, using her hair as a further shield. But she doubted even he could miss how she worked at the back of her bra - sure enough, when she undid it, there was a small gasp from him. Her cheeks red, she strove to ignore her own nervousness as she gripped the waistband of her panties. Sousuke was further panicked when they slid off, or so she heard, literally.

At first, she didn't turn toward him, merely shivered a bit in the air. Then, making absolutely sure that she covered herself at all times, she finally half-turned toward him.

Sousuke was shaking, and sweating-bullets didn't cover it anymore. But she saw his real fear was that he might have to do something; apparently her words hadn't fully registered.

"Sousuke?"

"Ah, yes ma'am?" he asked quickly, and it helped.

She smiled slightly. "Like I said earlier, you don't have to do anything really" she said gently, feeling strange, but liking it. "Your only task is to get used to this sight. Of me, like this" she continued, then glanced down. "Anything else is optional."

He didn't respond; apparently he didn't know what or how to say anything.

She became annoyed. "You could at least act like you heard me" she snapped slightly.

"Uh, yes ma'am" he said quickly, at attention. "I heard what you said. I simply did not have the ability to respond at that time."

She retained the annoyed look for a moment, then softened, closing her eyes. "Hopeless" she breathed, fully audible as she touched her chin to her knees. "Lovable, yet hopeless."

After that, she didn't say anything else.

* * *

_"Hopeless. Lovable, yet hopeless."_

Sousuke clung to those words, trying to understand them and/or focus on them so he could keep himself from full-on panicking again.

When Kaname had started taking off her clothes, his heart rate had risen, but he was somewhat prepared for it due to experience. Then it was thrown out the window when she went further than before, leading to his current full-on panic. She may have/be covering herself right now, but the sheer _allure_ her bare body gave off... he'd been entirely unprepared for it. Even now, he had trouble processing that the woman's body could be like this, despite her doing absolutely nothing of importance.

_"Is this-?"_ he thought/felt, before it briefly stalled. _"Is this what drives Kurz's womanizing tendencies?"_

He thought it must be; there was little else that it could be, really. Then he cursed himself for getting off-topic, clinging to the knowledge that he was not required to do anything, other than 'get used' to the sight of Kaname like this.

_"Analyze"_ he thought forcefully. _"Study. Yes... just 'study' Kaname's body as if - uh - as if it were important details crucial to the success of your mission!"_

This thought helped immensely: his body's reactions slowed to near-normal variations, and his breathing slowed. Studying something intensely, purely for analysis, was something he could do even when the subject matter was like this. So keeping that goal in mind at all times, he looked at Kaname, analyzing her but at the same time acknowledging the allure her body gave off. He resolved to utilize this technique in the future, even in brief bursts, to maintain the composure necessary for him to function.

Unlike his male body, even without the military training/instincts/gender differences, it was clear Kaname's body was built for form as well as function. Kaname's skin 'shone' in a way he couldn't put his finger on, in addition to the aforementioned allure, even without the morning light. Her hair, slight difference in frame, and other smaller aspects were compared to himself, in short. And when he finished this analysis, he slowly turned his attention to the more difficult parts of the body.

He knew the basics: her breasts were mounds of flesh and little more, even generally had the same nipples that males had. Their general purpose was for feeding of the young (in private thankfully), but he did not comprehend how or why Kaname took pleasure from having the area caressed, or why she felt deep sensation in her nipples when touched, as opposed to the male reaction. But still, her chest gave off that same mysterious allure her body did (if not stronger), defying his analysis. Before and during his time with Kaname, he had been oblivious to all this, and only now did he begin to notice something all males apparently notice.

Then there were her genitals...

Even though he could not see them, he remembered Kurz saying they were the most complicated bit of pleasing a woman, among other things; if you could not do it properly, and without improvement, the woman would not reach the peak of pleasure - something that would eventually leave them unsatisfied. Only first-hand experience or the proper knowledge would allow him to do so, and he had neither. He did not wish to try without having some knowledge, but as Kaname had repeatedly stated, she didn't care if he had no knowledge. So one way or the other, he would have to try, but gaining the knowledge would be up to him.

He slowly breathed in and out. His analysis was complete, and he had been staring at Kaname's body for at least ten minutes now... her body still gave off that mysterious allure, and he had resigned himself to figuring that out later for now, even if it was much _much_ later. Still, he knew the curves of her body fairly well. Was his mission over now?

...No.

The thought severely rattled him, but he held fast. _"No"_ he thought faintly, slowly. _"I don't think so. I may have gotten used to the sight of Kaname's body, as far as I know, but I am still woefully under-prepared for intimacy while she's like this. So I must - well, I must try something, instead of waiting for it to come to me."_

He needed another few breaths for that, but he managed to keep his resolve, slowly standing up.

Kaname, who had otherwise been very still and not looking in his direction, slowly noticed his approach. "Sousuke?" she breathed, then was surprised to see him standing right next to her. Luckily, this surprise did not move her arms and legs from their blocking angles, which would have made it even more difficult.

He glanced up, arms moving slowly behind his back. "I request permission to do more" he said faintly.

Several moments passed, Kanamie staring at him, her cheeks turning red. "Uh... sure" she replied faintly, surprised. "But Sousuke, you don't need to ask, you know."

He closed his eyes for a time. "I'm aware" he stated quietly. "However, it helps me get through this."

"Oh... well, I uh, I did say 'sure', Sousuke."

He opened his eyes again. "Thank you" he replied, slowly moving to sit down beside Kaname, who thankfully kept herself covered while she watched him. Eventually, he looked at her (and she at him), which went on for a few seconds before he began to lean in slowly. He saw the fleeting surprise on her face, but her eyes half-closed and her lips opened regardless.

When their kiss began, he slowly 'lost' himself in it, their arms on each other's shoulders. Truly, he did not know how he had gone without so much as knowing about this interaction for so long.

Somewhere during a break in this, Kaname panted a little, so close he could feel every molecule of her breath. "You know, Sousuke" she breathed. "It's ironic: despite me being _naked_ and everything, you have yet to show _any_ sign of arousal."

"...pardon?" he whispered slowly.

He began to sense signs of irritation from her. "Come on, even you must indirectly know about this" she said mildly. "During puberty, don't most guys get 'hard' every now and then down there?"

Utterly nonplussed, he stared at her. "I do not know what you are talking about, Kaname" he stated. "But if you're referring to the body part I believe you are talking about, nothing of that sort has ever happened."

This time, she stared at him, but then her face just fell. "Wow, you're even more hopeless than I thought, Sergeant" she said in complete disbelief, shaking her head once. "That's something I'll have to change right away."

"Kaname-?"

"Off the bed" she ordered, to his surprise. "Stand up, Sousuke, over there" she continued, referring to the foot of her bed.

Because of the surprise, he was slow in complying, but eventually he got off her bed and stood where she'd indicated, wondering what she had in mind. It did not escape his attention that there was effort underneath her orders, as if this was hard for her, somehow.

Kaname looked at him for awhile, took in a breath, then leaned forward considerably (this made him start to sweat because she was no longer covered at all). His eyes quickly followed her hands as they moved forward, touching themselves to his waist first, then moving down right to the waistband. "Kaname?"

"This will probably shock you, Sergeant" she said in an odd tone, right before her fingers curled into his waistbands, and pulled.

He gasped, sweating bullets, and otherwise went into full overdrive mode in an instant - the only thing that prevented him from subduing Kaname on the spot was the fact that she stopped immediately after he was 'exposed', and her hands moved away, not inflicting anything but his panic mode. So, for the most part, he simply stood there as a complete wreck, stunned/confused/sweating bullets and otherwise incapable of functioning at this time. Meanwhile, Kaname observed his reaction thoroughly, then looked at his genital - and her look slowly became oddly flat, but he could not place why.

Eventually, she glanced up at him again. "I'm not gonna hurt you, Sousuke" she said carefully, making him blink. "You don't have to do anything, except remember that I'm _not_ making a habit of this."

He should have been able to understand, but he could only look as Kaname slowly raised her hand, straight up at first so he could see, then slowly moved forward.

Just as she was inches away, his hand grabbed her by the wrist.

This action startled her, as well as himself, and she could only look at him with surprised confusion.

He tried to speak: "At least-" he said shakily. "-At least get dressed, Kaname, before you do anything."

She slowly raised an eyebrow, and he was confused why that had been his first (and only) sentence that he'd managed to speak. However, Kaname's look slowly softened, along with looking vaguely amused. "Fair enough" she whispered mildly, with some relief, removing her hand from his grip. So for the next minute, he stood there, only able to see Kaname get dressed from the corner of his eye - however, he did see that while she put her pajama top on, she did not button it back up at all. As soon as she took her place on the bed, he intended to ask why-

Kaname apparently saw this coming. "You'll know why" she said carefully, like she wasn't looking forward to it. "Now then..."

She went through the same process, just slightly faster, but at least this time he had a little more of his wits about him. And the moment her fingers hesitantly touched his genital, he was struck by the sensation other than the usual - it felt like she was touching something sacred, that nobody should touch, and yet he was letting her. As a result, he was aware every second how and where she was touching him down there, without his even trying. He did not understand how this was possible, as he did not remember this happening when he showered - then again, he always washed the area with wet cloth, so perhaps it didn't give it off then.

On Kaname's end, her fingers moved very slowly, just gently exploring all over from all angles, with every indication that she was aware that he could subdue her if she so much as scratched him. He also felt rather than knew that the 'head' was the most sensitive part when her fingers brushed over there.

This continued for awhile, then she glanced up at him, before her fingers moved to the underside of his genital, specifically underneath the 'head'. And then she began to move it down and up, down and up; a systematic rhythm. At first he did not see the point of this, as it felt much the same as her earlier touches - but that was before the sensations continued to increase in intensity, and he started feeling a peculiar hardening sensation, mainly from the inside. It was very low-key, very slow, but he did feel it. And perhaps Kaname did too, as after awhile, she ceased her rhythm and simply held his thing in a mild grip.

Then she gave off a subtle sign of a resigned sigh, before she leaned forward, him watching with confusion -

- then his eyes shot open, his body went into overdrive, and his hands jerkily tried to grasp Kaname by the head. He barely stopped that motion at the last moment, emphasis on barely.

The action in question was when her lips touched his intimate part; Kaname seemed not to notice his arm motion, at the very least, and merely continued to kiss over 'him'. The sensation - no, scratch that: _thrill_ - of it all astounded him, and beyond wanting to stop, he found he desired the very opposite! In fact, now that he realized it, the motion to grab Kaname by the head was not to stop her, it was to hold her close and encourage this action! He had no idea his body housed such reactions to something he had no experience in!

And to wit, she'd still barely started; even he could tell that much. And apparently this was true, for Kaname continued for some time before pausing a fraction of a second. In that small stretch of time, he saw embarrassment from the red of her cheeks, reluctance, but also a strange determination. He felt rather than saw her return to her previous actions, but soon her kisses took on an entirely different sensation: sucking.

His breathing increased without conscious effort, then she added her tongue to the mix - and he gasped, loudly, as a powerful sensation passed through his nervous system. But more than that, the 'hardening' sensation increased in intensity, and to his horrified mortification, his genital was suddenly sticking straight forward and at least ten times harder than it previously was, judging by his sensations alone. How were simple blood vessels able to do that!?

As soon as Kaname felt this, she stopped for a bit, sighing. Then she took in a deep breath, and-

He gasped loudly again as Kaname's entire mouth seemed to touch him, still going in a systemic rhythm. He tried to move his hands, to slow/stop/do _something_ about this situation, but they would only shake where they were. He was amazed/stupified at the amount of control-yet-not-control this gave Kaname over him, and presumably all men in general; how did anyone manage to do anything like this? His trained instincts were screaming at him to stop this, but another fought back hard, knowing Kaname would not intentionally hurt him.

Time passed, not that he could have told you how much; a first for him. At first he felt a building sensation, but he thought that might be natural - until it got particularly strong, and would not go away, only get stronger. He breathed a strangled groan when he sensed he was close, though to what, he did not know.

Kaname apparently took his groan as a sign, because she immediately stopped with her mouth (and to really catch her breath), but still held him. He could have stopped all this, and he could have done something - but his body would not move, and it was not because he was frozen.

Then she closed her eyes with a strange reluctance, and returned to her previous rhythm; moving her hand up and down, but at a _far_ faster pace than before. This, and other things, got several sounds out of him as the building sensation reached impossible heights.

Then something shifted: he felt some sort of a barrier/edge, and Kaname's work was making him rapidly approach it - then she did hit it.

His entire body seized up as he gasped, his genital in particular spreading a white-hot wave of pleasure, the kind that surpassed anything he'd felt before. And it was not a brief one; it ran across his central nervous system among other places, only fading little-by-little after some time had passed.

When he finally had some awareness back, he found he'd involuntarily closed his eyes, and his breathing was purely in ragged gasps, as if he'd run several miles in the Arbalest. He was also aware that his body, while not entirely drenched, was sweating from actual physical effort. Only the most arduous of exercises had ever done that to him; who knew something this simple in theory could do such a thing? He managed to slowly open his eyes, but the effort took more than he thought it would, as if he was sleepy.

The sight his eyes met did not not compute at first, but when it did, it mortified him into physical shock.

Kaname also had her eyes closed, but her lips were pursed, and her eyebrow was twitching heavily. He saw why; whatever that intense pleasure had done for him, it had apparently 'splashed' her with some sort of sticky white liquid, which was spread across her skin. As far as he could tell, none had gotten on her clothing or hair, but it was a near thing.

"Well-" Kaname breathed out forcibly, making him blanch; she was _very_ annoyed. "I'm _definitely_ NOT making a habit of _that_, Sergeant."

He tried to close his eyes, to prepare for the inevitable swatting he thought was coming - but to this surprise, Kaname merely stood up on his left side. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna clean up" he heard.

Then she moved out of his peripheral vision, and he was unable to turn his head, so he was left standing there.

But in his shock, his brain was free to go over the things he'd learned, and experienced. And one thing kept putting itself together: the shape his genital took when fully stimulated, and the general view of Kaname's genital from split-second views. And his shock increased as he recalled when he'd asked Kaname if they could do what she thought he meant that day at school; to 'make love'. He'd had the first idea due to previous education + experience with Kaname and Kurz's instruction, but now he realized he had been way over his head, and he never knew it.

He was still in over his head now.

He couldn't function like this - he knew what he needed to do; he just hoped Kaname would forgive him when this was over.

* * *

"Disgusting - can't believe I just - but it had to be done - Gah!"

This and more she muttered under her breath as the faucet ran, she frequently passing her hands under it as she took care of things. And more than that, she had to wash out her mouth several times.

As she'd muttered, she couldn't believe she'd forced herself to do that, even if it'd been necessary for Sousuke's perception of things - damn that idiot. She knew his 'thing' was generally necessary for it's intended purpose, but it was still a disgusting tool, and she wished she'd never have to do that again. Not to mention she couldn't believe herself when she'd just seized the moment without thinking and done that last part! But - well, uh - she admitted that his gasps and groans had been a little hot.

She gasped, suddenly finding her legs a little unsteady, but luckily she steadied by gripping the sink (and turning the water off).

Did she really just think that!?

She felt her cheeks go red. She thought that act had been disgusting, but she also thought his responses - which were the result of her work - were hot?

_"What is wrong with me?"_ she thought wryly.

She wasn't sure if it was a serious question or not, and she didn't think she _wanted_ to know right this second. So, after glancing down at herself, she slowly buttoned back up her pajamas as she controlled herself. Sousuke was still out there, and she needed to finish things up, preferably by sending him back to his apartment (she could not handle much more tonight; it had taken a lot of effort).

"Alright, Sousuke" she breathed carefully, walking back outside. "We're done for to-"

To her complete and utter shock, he was gone.

Her eyebrow twitched several times. He'd just - _he'd just walked out on her!?_

Then she gasped, and hurried to the window, yanking the curtain aside.

A flicker of movement caught her attention, and she saw the door to Sousuke's apartment slam shut, making her stare. Minutes passed, but no lights came on, and no other movement happened.

Her breathing became a little strained, and her vision blurred. Oh god, Sousuke had run out - she must have truly scared him for that to have happened; she must have crossed the line. What had she done!?

And what was gonna happen now?

* * *

**What indeed? Stay tuned ;)**


	10. Relief

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

_Two weeks later; 1 1/2 months total_

Kaname slowly picked at the plate she was washing, before she sighed; she just couldn't focus at all.

She couldn't get Sousuke out of her head, or that general panicked/confused/dazed expression of his.

She'd gone over it _at least_ thirty times: she and Sousuke (well, mostly she) had been going through intimate instruction, and latter, experiences. There had been ups and downs of course, but overall, Sousuke had always been the stable one. And now she might have just scared him away - something she didn't think was possible, but here it was. And the thought that it might be her fault made her feel... well:

Sad. Worried. Angry. Frustrated. Lonely. And above all else, Longing.

She'd watched his apartment, very carefully at times. She had no reason to believe he was still in there; in fact, there was every chance he could have snuck out while she wasn't looking. This definitely supported the multiple times she'd knocked on his door, with no answer of any kind. She asked if he was okay, yelled at him for walking out on her, begged him to come back, even tried to break his door down once, and more (sometimes on the same visit). But in her heart, she didn't believe he had actually left; the door and the windows had both remained locked. And the one time she'd left a basket full of food at his door, by the time she got back to her apartment, it was gone.

Still, despite all this, life had gone on.

_"Maybe I should try again"_ she thought weakly, holding a hand near her chest. If nothing else, it would let her say her feelings to the air...

/

"Sousuke?"

The door remained silent.

She looked down. "I know you're in there, Sousuke" she spoke quietly, holding her arm with one hand. "I don't know how I know it, especially since could have easily snuck out without me knowing, but I - I just feel it. I-I feel I know you, and if you did leave again, you'd have at least left a note this time, or something..."

A few moments, then a sigh: "I've said this before, Sousuke, but I can't say it enough: I'm sorry for what happened before. If I had known that I had crossed the line, that I'd scared you that much, I wouldn't have dared!"

Still nothing happened.

"Come on, please?" she asked, a little desperate. "How many times can I say I'm so-"

The door opened, startling her, while Sousuke just looked at her evenly.

"...rry" she finished faintly, blinking several times.

Remarkably, this little quirk seemed not to confuse him. "Kaname" he said faintly, after a moment. "There is um, no need for you to apologize, blame yourself, or think that you did anything wrong."

She stood there for a bit. "What?" she breathed, only just starting to process he was standing there after two weeks of silence.

Sousuke held his arms behind him, slowly breathing in and out once. "It is true that your actions of two weeks ago did shock me, but, that was only because of it's existence, as well as the revelation that those sensations existed in my body, despite no prior experience. Also, it did not trigger anything except the now-standard responses."

She hugged him when he finished, much to his startled confusion.

"I'm sorry" she said, her voice faint at first but growing in anger. "I haven't seen you in so long, Sousuke, and I was so worried. And now I find out it wasn't even my fault; that you're the one who just upped and left me!"

Sousuke glanced at where her fingers were currently clenched over his chest, then back at her. "Yes, I did" he stated slowly. "I admit I was not in a rational state of mind... but this is no excuse, and I immensely regret it. I will accept any punishment you deem to inflict on me."

Breathing heavily, her feelings pooling together, one hand moved back and drew itself into a fist, almost. Sousuke's eyes caught this action and closed themselves, preparing for it.

She wanted to: he'd just ditched her and left her alone again without any warning, and the entire time she'd thought it had been her fault when there was no reason to. Her vision blurred a bit as she remembered she'd never forgive him the last time he'd done that - in fact, suddenly all of the instances she'd hit him with her fan came back, and they didn't seem enough anymore.

Her hand clenched, shaking as she drew back further...

Sousuke kept himself prepared, simply breathing, until he was startled by the feel of her fist against his cheek. In fact, it'd simply touched his skin instead of slamming into it (as he'd expected), so his eyes slowly opened.

She breathed in and out several times, cursing herself for chickening out, and also relieved deep down that she'd stopped herself. "No" she stated shortly, quietly, her fist resting against his cheek, but not quite caressing. "Not yet."

"Pardon?"

She slowly sighed, removing her hand, looking at him carefully. "I'll decide what action I take against you, Sergeant," she said, "but only after I've heard your reasons."

Sousuke processed this, but he managed to nod. "Of course" he stated faintly, then glanced up briefly. "In fact, I believe this would be a case of me, um, 'owing' you that explanation."

Her smile was a bit twisted. "That's an understatement, Sousuke" she said flatly, arms crossed, while Sousuke didn't particularly respond to this. After a little, she glanced down; "But at least it's accurate, though" she said, stepping inside. Sousuke didn't seem surprised on that last part; he just closed and locked the door first before following her.

For a good while, the two of them simply sat in silence, doing little things here and there. She wasn't surprised when Sousuke didn't start explaining on his own, but it still infuriated her - or rather, made her wary. It was as if she wasn't sure whether to be violently angry for his actions, or be a subdued warm in his presence.

"Well?" she questioned, breaking the silence.

His mouth opened, and she saw every sign that he was gonna ask her 'Well what?' - except he stopped himself, then settled back slightly.

"As I said earlier, Kaname," he started, fairly quiet and composed, "-after your actions from before, I was shocked, but it was only a fairly standard shock reaction, all things considered. The thing that really drove me to escape was a realization - that I was simply unprepared."

"For what?" she asked, rather bitterly. "For the next step?"

He was unaffected by her bitterness: "That, as well as the business of-" he continued before trailing off, then his voice became considerably less composed. "What is sometimes referred to as 'making love'."

This jolted her, badly, blinking rapidly as her cheeks heated up.

"At the time, I thought I had the right idea when I asked you if we could do so, at my fishing spot" he continued, with some effort. "But I did not. In addition, my lack of education on that aspect was another factor - and that was my realization: that I was woefully unprepared for 'making love', and I did not know it all this time. I realized this after the events I've just referred to."

"But-" she sputtered a bit. "but you could have learned from me!"

"I'm aware of that" he said shortly. "However, Kaname, after a certain point, your education method changed. It went from verbal instruction - followed by physical instruction in some cases - simply to physical."

She opened her mouth, intending to say how wrong he was before the truth of it slammed into her gut. Her feelings of guilt, which were still not entirely gone, came back full force when she realized what she might have done to him unintentionally. How did she not see that!? At least part of this time she'd just done things her way, and Sousuke had gone along with it, until he'd reached his limit.

"I dealt with it to the best of my ability, but two weeks ago, I was finding it more and difficult to keep myself together. Then there was my aforementioned revelation, which strongly surged through me - I could not handle it anymore." he continued, glancing down. "I am sorry I failed you."

"Don't say that!" she cried out, to both of their surprises.

"Kaname?" he questioned.

Blinking, she realized she'd already started; what was there to lose now? "Sousuke, you can't be blamed for having limits" she said, briefly faltered on the next part, then plowed ahead: "You just made me realize something: with my teachings, at least, you did best with words before the experience. But without realizing it, I just stopped doing the former halfway through, so you were just thrown into the fray later! So it's my fault, okay!?"

That last sentence surprised her, knowing how difficult it was for her to admit she was in the wrong. It had also surprised Sousuke, but that was mostly how loud it had been in comparison to the rest of her words.

Seemingly without realizing it, Sousuke rose from his seat. "Kaname-" he breathed, now currently crouched down in front of her, which made her heart beat faster. He briefly faltered after that, but he looked back at her, "you were not aware of this flaw, correct?"

A little thrown off, she slowly shook her head.

He tilted his head slightly. "Then I do not believe you should - well, uh, 'beat yourself up' over this" he said faintly, but sincerely.

Despite herself, this made her blush but at the same time, she realized something. "That's the second time" she breathed, blinking. "What did you research, Sousuke? The entire dictionary of current slang?"

The slightest change in expression showed his surprise, then it passed. "No" he admitted slowly, "but I did take a crash course as part of my recuperation process, after learning all I could about the particulars of intimacy. Was that wrong?"

"Oh" she breathed, more a sound than anything, lightly shaking her head in response - until she realized what his admittance implied. "Wait, you learned about intimacy? About _that_?"

"If I understand you correctly, my answer is yes."

"What exactly did you look up?" she asked carefully, eye twitching; there were a BIG number of pitfalls in that area that he might not be aware of.

He glanced up, seemed to realize he'd moved from his original spot (and seemed surprised by it), then he slowly sat down beside her on her left. "I looked up the closeness between one man and one woman, only did the 'proper' moves, and otherwise did nothing extreme" he said, his voice having no tone, and yet a mountains worth of imagery associated with it. "I very carefully made sure I did not see anything that did not fit those requirements."

She just stared at him. Even if he claimed he just saw the 'standard' version, his words gave her the very strange feeling that he had seen at least a _few_ examples of the 'extreme' versions, despite saying otherwise.

"After that research was complete, I was not the exact same person as when I began." he continued faintly. "Or put another way, I was 'scarred for life' - though I admit, I still do not understand that particular expression exactly; how can you be mentally 'scarred' for life?"

She felt a little relieved; there was Sousuke.

Sousuke made a small sound, surprised when Kaname had wrapped her arms around his right one, quite literally. However, he didn't say anything.

"I'm glad you're okay" she breathed, then looked at him. "You - you are, aren't you?"

His expression relaxed a bit, and he nodded. "I am recovered, Kaname" he said simply.

In response to that, she simply rested her head against his shoulder, and his body moved slightly in surprise at that. "So we're okay?" she breathed, only half a question.

She heard nothing for awhile, then Sousuke's other hand entered her vision, hesitantly moving but determined. She watched as he slowly reached forward, just shy of her chest, then touched her right shoulder. He moved slowly, deliberately, but eventually his hand gently gripped her shoulder, pulling her just a little closer to him. She blushed just a little when she realized this, and she looked up at him, seeing Sousuke looking for signs that he'd done something wrong. But far from it, she simply closed her eyes, mouth opening a little.

It took him a few seconds longer than it should have, but Sousuke did oblige her, and his kiss felt just as sweet as the others. And though it ended too soon for her tastes, she couldn't begrudge him for that (or most anything else) while he very slowly leaned his head against hers.

She slowly gripped him back just as closely. "Sousuke" she breathed, hesitant and uncertain of herself, but sure that she wasn't angry at him anymore, however strange that was. "Are you sure you've really recovered - enough?"

With his head leaning against hers, she felt his jaw muscles move a little before he paused, then he adjusted himself a bit. "Yes, I have recovered 'enough'." he said against her. "And more than that, I am very much- (pause) I'm relieved that we are still together."

She felt warm at that. Surprised, but still warm. "I really did miss you" she breathed, holding him even tighter (which he adjusted to). "In more ways than one."

"I am sorry I made you feel that way." he said, slowly sighing. "I am also glad that - well, that you don't hate me for my actions."

She didn't even answer that, except with a soft nuzzle against his arm.

A long fairly sorta-comfortable silence, then: "But, when you say 'more ways than one', Kaname-" he stated slowly, multiple emotions underlying his tone, "-if I understand you correctly, you are asking if I am - prepared for the next step, correct?"

Her heart beat faster, and she had to struggle not to blush. "Well, uh" she faltered a little, "yeah, I guess uh - *sigh* y-yes, Sousuke, t-the last step before - (gulp) before 'making love'."

His fingers on her shoulders tightened slightly, but his voice was relatively even. "I thought as much, but Kaname-"

She glanced up at him when his pause when longer than normal (even for him). "But what?" she asked faintly.

He slowly looked at her. "Your instruction may be unnecessary," he said mildly, "as part of my instruction involved those *pause* 'techniques'."

As much as that angered her a little - so now he suddenly didn't want her instruction? - she forced it down, knowing that was _not_ the case, especially with Sousuke. "But you are sure you're really 'informed'?" she questioned. "Diagrams can't really tell you everything-"

"I did not only look at diagrams" he stated bluntly.

Blinking, she stared at him.

He slowly closed his eyes. "There were graphic close-ups in addition" he stated, then his voice gained an edge. "I do not wish to discuss this in detail, as I fear it will make me ill."

She didn't respond for awhile, until: "Okay" she said slowly. "Then it's settled."

Surprised, he looked at her.

"For now, you'll just recover, Sergeant" she said, strangely confident now. "No more instruction or experience of any kind except for kissing until you're okay. Consider it like you're in the hospital, confined to your bed."

He blinked several times. "Is that truly necessary, Kaname?" he inquired.

"I don't know" she answered, then she blushed. "But then again, if you're up for anything we're already done together - I wouldn't mind."

Nervousness flitted across his expression, but otherwise, he appeared fine.

Then she giggled a little. "Plus, the next school year is gonna start in about two weeks, and we're not prepared at all" she said, with something like a smirk. "Is that acceptable, Sergeant?"

For a few moments, he didn't respond (except with surprise), but the slightest hint of a smile and his expression told her he understood. "No, it is not, Kaname" he said approvingly. "And you may be correct: a little normality should fix me."

"Good" she breathed approvingly, just like when she'd gotten Sousuke on garbage duty.

* * *

_Two weeks later; 2 months total  
2 days from school's start_

"And again, sorry I haven't been able to hang with you very much, Kyoko."

_"Is it something Sousuke did? Then again, he's been strangely silent, with nothing blown up or anything like that."_

"Well-" she started, before she stopped, cheeks pink. "something did happen, but it isn't bad, really."

_"Well that's a new one; usually you'd deny it first."_

She smiled a little. "Things have been crazy, different than his usual" she admitted.

_"Is he still coming to school though?"_

"Of course he will" she said mildly, and was about to say more when she heard the door open, which meant Sousuke was back. "As will I. And when that happens, you and I will hang out a lot to make up for lost time."

_"Sousuke just came back in, didn't he"_ she said, not a question, and in an amused tone.

She was jolted, and she struggled for a moment, but only that. "I'll not care to answer that" she said mildly.

_"Alright, but if you're together, just say-"_

Click.

She sat there, a little annoyed, just imagining the small smirk on Kyoko's face at home. Even when she told her to stop, that girl was a little matchmaker as well as a camera-type. Still, after a few moments, the annoyance faded as she made a sound; Sousuke and herself were actually together now by all standards, and that would open up a new can of worms when Kyoko found out. Well, if she didn't already suspect this, but she would find out eventually, no matter what they did. What was she gonna do?

Suddenly she remembered Sousuke had come inside, so he was probably in the room. Turns out, she was right; he was standing a good distance away, looking at her evenly even as something large and plastic-wrapped hung from his hand.

"Kaname" he said. "Forgive me, but I heard part of your conversing. Were you on the phone?"

She stood up, looking at him. "Yeah, with Kyoko." she said mildly, "Because I've been spending a lot of time teaching you, I've neglected her, so I'm fixing that."

"And this should not affect our relat-" he started to ask, before visibly stopping. "This uh, should not affect 'us'?"

She smirked a little. "Not too much" she said, before she finally caught sight of what hung from his hand. "What the-? How'd you get that, and why!?"

"I examined the new school rules for this year, and your old uniform did not fit by two inches overall" he said evenly, then looked at her 'new' uniform. "And more than that, I made some small modifications. You will have 15% greater freedom and ease of movement than before, which should help in the event of any danger."

Her face fell, both that he'd gone to all that trouble, _and_ because of this older behavior. "You really think I'd be in danger every moment, Sousuke?" she asked, arms crossed.

He looked at her for a few moments, glanced at her new uniform, then back - still, the fact that he didn't answer right away surprised her. "No" he answered faintly, then his expression seemed to relax, just the slightest. "I no longer think danger is around every corner, or consider those possibilities unless details seem off to me. But the fact of your Whispered status still remains Kaname, and anyone who might wish to use you or harm you is my responsibility. And now, more than ever, I've got to protect you. You are not just my friend, you are my g-"

He stopped, his expression suddenly animated under a surge of nervous anticipation. Despite that, he struggled against it: "My girl-"

He stopped again, because her finger was on his lips.

They stood like this for a moment, before she smiled. "Don't strain yourself, Sergeant" she said mildly, but softly. "I know what you mean."

He pulled himself back half-an-inch, letting her finger fall. "Not fully" he answered, hands behind his back, "You are not just that, Kaname, you are, uh - I believe you are more."

"More?" she wondered; what was going on with him?

"Did I phrase that incorrectly?"

She giggled a little, knowing that to be so him. "What's making you say this so suddenly?" she asked, both amused and honestly curious.

He closed his eyes, which instantly caught her attention. "Kaname" he stated faintly. "I believe that - my period of normality is over, and that only- *shaky breath* only one thing remains."

She opened her mouth, then closed it, seeing the enormous strain. She didn't have a clue what he meant right now though, and when had he mentioned normality- Wait a minute, hadn't she mentioned they do that to 'fix' him? Yeah, yeah she did. And as soon as she mentally thought this, there was a rush, and she saw the entire night where she'd suggested that, all in a second.

Her cheeks turned red, and she fidgeted. "Sousuke" she breathed, glancing down. "You don't mean-" she continued, but trailed off.

Sousuke's eyes were still closed, even though she couldn't see this right now. "Kaname, I do not have the ability to ask this again" he said, rather uneasily. "Ever since that night, I've only learned more, and that has made it harder."

She heard him, but her mind focused on _that night_, which further embarrassed her. Despite the fact they were talking in _very wide_ circles, each knew _exactly_ what the subject was. Still, one worry remained on her mind...

"Sousuke?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you even know what you're getting into?"

A slight 'Uh' from him, a second of silence, then: "I don't understand your meaning" he said carefully.

Her cheeks were red. "You know love is uh, well, two people growing closer, and staying that way" she breathed, unsure. "But this? I-It's special, and it demands a long-term commitment - are you even ready to do that? ...am I?"

Because she was looking down, she did not see his eyes open, but she did notice when he eventually stepped toward her, and her gaze lifted slowly. "Kaname, you can do this." he said firmly, even gently despite the effort.

She breathed out a little at this, being heavily reminded of that day at school, where he'd asked her to take off her clothes. "I-I can?"

"Yes. You have had several years to adjust yourself to the possibility of this... act, even if only subconsciously, so all nervous feelings aside - you are far more prepared than I am."

She was struck by how ironic that was. "And you?" she asked shyly, without thinking.

His expression worked a little, and he breathed in-and-out once. "Kaname, I am already committed in the long term, both to protecting you and to this relationship, quite willingly for both of them" he said, very slowly touching his fingers to her sleeves. "Another commitment will not be a burden, and even if it were, I would take it regardless."

She felt warm at that, and she slowly leaned against him, Sousuke slowly hugging her back after a few moments.

"It'll still take some time to adjust to all this, though" she breathed. "It's so... strange."

His hand moved slightly, going from her back to just near her neck. "I understand."

* * *

**Always gonna be a bit of a strange couple lol ;)**

**Still, they've gonna need a LOT of preparation for 'that'.**


	11. Climax

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

_That night_

In the bathroom, Kaname had never felt more... gah, she couldn't tell if she was more excited or afraid! But if she was afraid, she wasn't sure what scared her more; the waiting (which was killing her), thoughts about what awaited her tonight, or the fact that she had nothing against giving up her first time to Sousuke-

She shivered a bit, crossing her arms together tightly.

_"But... if I didn't want to, would Sousuke be here at this time at night?"_

She had no answer, to her mental question or in general. Still, she had to come out of there eventually, even with Sousuke's seemingly endless patience...

When she did come out, it was with slow steps, her gaze downward. When she glanced up, she stopped, surprised and uncomprehending before her face fell. "...what is that?" she asked flatly.

Sousuke looked around, the 'that' in question being a thin sheet of metal propped up perfectly on the middle of her bed, which he was sitting on the right side of. It should have fallen with the slightest movements, but two clamp things hung from the ceiling, preventing that. "This will allow us some privacy, when we change" he said evenly, until the last word. "Also, it will allow us to prepare for seeing each other - uh..."

"Bare?" she eventually supplied, feeling conflicted, yet her cheeks still heated. "So you don't want the full experience?"

"I did not say that" he answered, his answer exact, as always. "I would just prefer some core experience about every important aspect, before I learn too much about the smaller details and acts. Also, I would prefer to avoid 'freaking out' partway through, as has happened before."

She didn't respond to that verbally, but she thought that was pretty smart of him, if a bit different (the first part anyway). Still, what were you gonna do?

"So, you're ready?" she asked, heart pounding. "As you can be, I mean?"

A moment, then: "I am" he answered, not easily, but determined nonetheless.

After that, she didn't think there was anything more she could say, or hear from him; they were both willing in their own ways deep down, nervous and scared as all hell, but still here. So, she slowly stepped over to her bed, sitting down on the left side, Sousuke watching her the entire time until she was hidden from his sight.

She slowly sighed, then after a little twitch, her hands started moving.

She heard nothing but the rustling of clothing from both sides, as well as their breathing, but she could tell Sousuke was going slowly. She wasn't surprised; she was doing much the same. But eventually, she was completely bare and trying to fight off a chill that had nothing to do with the air. Leaning backward took more effort than she thought, but she managed to lay on the bed, shivering again.

Ten long seconds later: "Kaname?"

She slowly breathed out. "Ready as I'll ever be" she said faintly.

* * *

_"Ready as I'll ever be."_

His answer was not verbal; he pressed a button on the device beside him, which withdrew the clamps securing the metal 'wall'. Before it started tilting, he grasped it from above to prevent that, placing the device on the floor at the same time. After that, he held the wall for a moment, then he resolved himself and pulled it away from it's spot, placing it on the floor. And now there was nothing between them, something he was distinctly aware of - but he was committed to this.

He slowly looked to his right, directly at Kaname, who slowly noticed and looked his way. Her cheeks were already rather red, and the same might happen to him soon, but he remembered what she'd said about not being tense.

Never once looking away from her face, he slowly reached forward, his fingers touching hers gently. Her fingers reacted to his first touch, but after that, she hesitantly grasped his hand back. Her fingers felt soft against his touch, and he reflected this was the first time they've ever formally held hands as a couple - if you didn't count the times she'd grabbed him by the hand, vice-versa, and the ones that lead to accidental touches. Even as he thought this, he scooted himself closer to Kaname, who moved slightly when his shoulder bumped against hers.

Note to self: the 'touch barrier' is not simply one touch, but potentially multiple ones as well.

They spent some time looking at each other, feeling the other's breath somewhat, but he was the first to speak:

"I am not looking forward to hurting you, Kaname."

She slowly glanced down at herself, then back at him, her other hand slowly covering her own chest (he was slightly relieved). "No guy does, Sousuke," she whispered faintly, "and neither am I, but - it's gotta be done. And after that, it should never happen again."

"I see."

Several moments later, he saw Kaname close her eyes, and lift her head up a little. Seeing what she desired, he slowly leaned forward, closing his own eyes. Their lips touched gently, and a hand found his hair after a few moments, even as he was pleasuring her upper lip. This simple interaction went on for awhile, but he managed to lift himself up at the same time, slowly placing his knee in-between Kaname's legs for better positioning. This touch surprised her, but she made way for his legs, for which he was grateful.

After he judged enough time had passed, he removed himself from Kaname's lips, who gave off a small gasp that seemed to indicate that she didn't want him to leave; a good sign. Still, he slowly redirected his mouth, aiming down toward her neck - he didn't entirely understand this reaction, but he had seen it's effectiveness. And indeed, when he slowly kissed her neck, her pulse rate seemed to spike, and Kaname held him even closer to her body. He felt slightly uncomfortable when this action lightly smushed his genital against her leg, but either she didn't seem to notice, or she didn't mind.

Still, his movements were increasingly confident as he went through this. Even as his mouth worked on her neck or her lips at any one time, he started using one hand in combination as well, slowly moving it up and down her arm. The small shivers that went through Kaname showed that she liked this, even if it seemed too mundane to him, even now.

Kaname was not inactive, but he had sorta expected that; this was a shared act. As their kiss heated up, she was the first to use her tongue, which got a strangled gasp out of him. And more than that; her hands moved up and down his arms, shoulders, and eventually his chest - this touch surprised him, especially when she seemed to fixate on his scars. And also, strangely, her legs seemed to really enjoy rubbing against his skin.

He didn't understand all of it, but he hoped to in time. Also, he noted that the first step seemed to be over, as Kaname definitely acted like she was 'in the mood'.

So, resolving himself, he moved one hand onto her chest.

Kaname squeaked at this contact, startling him, as he'd never heard her make that particular sound before. However, when she merely continued to hold him, he took it as another good sign, slowly moving his hand again. Kaname breathed out from his caress (was that the right word?), then she launched herself at him, kissing him hard. He returned her affection after a moment, both of them almost upright now, then his fingers brushed against her left nipple. She truly gasped, deep in her throat, and her hand dragged his other one to her right breast.

His concentration slipped at that, allowing Kaname's tongue to push into his open mouth and gain the upper hand, but he corrected that oversight in seconds.

This continued for some time, both of them kissing and, uh, 'teasing' each other's spots. As he worked on her breasts though, Sousuke felt a small change come over her nipples; they seemed to be getting harder and more 'erect' the more simulation he gave them, and her breasts in general, though on a smaller scale. He got flashes of that same process happening to his genital, and wondered why that happened - at least until his fingers slipped, accidentally pinching them, and Kaname moaned as a result.

He gasped, blinking at the sudden increase of pleasure, then he saw Kaname look at him. Her expression was extremely similar to the one she'd given when she thought she'd been having an intimate dream.

Panting a little, she pulled him against her, quite literally.

He lost composure when her breasts pressed against him, but he was more fixated by his genital against her stomach; he was feeling a peculiar sensation down there, like he was rapidly 'filling up' with something. When he realized what it meant, he began sweating.

But he didn't have time to dwell on it: Kaname heavily surprised him by pushing him backwards onto her bed, then sitting up on top of him. He tried to retain what composure he could, but the distinctive feel of her genitals on his body was making that difficult.

Kaname's face was red, and upon further reflection, he had no proof that he wasn't the same. "My turn" she breathed, her eyes half-lidded.

He opened his mouth to ask, but all that came out was a startled gasp; the result of Kaname rubbing her genital against him.

He did not understand how simple rubbing could produce this reaction - this very _good_ reaction - but she continued slowly, making it harder to think at all. She worked on his stomach, panting and moaning at times, going from slow to a slightly-faster speed once she got used to the motion (his reactions to the sensations adjusted accordingly). But then there was a change; she began to move down his body, going to the patch of skin below his stomach, and then-

He groaned as his genital twitched directly against hers, his heart pounding and sweating profusely. Kaname continued to rub herself against him, and her panting soon became cries of pleasure, her legs tightening around him. He found his fingers were dug into the covers; he was tense- no, he was _not_ tense, this was a reaction brought upon by the pleasure! How was this possible!?

When his gradually-becoming-harder genital suddenly became wet, he gasped, snapping up by instinct (Kaname did not notice; her eyes were closed). But he did not see it, he felt it; during Kaname's rubbing act, her genital was becoming stimulated, and as a result were becoming wet. In essence, she was doing part of his job for him.

Amidst all the sweating and the pleasure, he did not know how he felt about that, but he carefully chose (or felt maybe, by this point) that he should wait a bit longer. So he focused on that fact - but in that focus, the sensations he felt seemed to come in even stronger, as well as the pleasant gasps/moans from Kaname's mouth. It was an entirely simple thing she was doing, albeit with intimate parts of both bodies, and yet it was so strong his mind was boggled. And more than that, his sense of time was heavily distorted - was that normal?

Eventually, he felt his genital come to the end of it's hardening process, or so far as he could determine.

When he was sure, he gripped Kaname's arms, kissing her hard at the same time. The resulting sound was part moan/gasp/something else he couldn't identify, both of surprise and pleasure, and she stopped her rubbing. When he pulled away enough, Kaname seemed particularly dazed, but he didn't let that dissuade him: "This part is over, Kaname" he said, more strained than he'd initially thought. "Let me, uh, take over."

Panting heavily, she didn't respond, not verbally.

Slowly, he pushed Kaname forward until she was laying back-first on her bed, her eyes still half-lidded. He felt almost entirely ridiculous with a hard genital drawing his attention, but he couldn't let that sensation distract him. So instead, he turned his gaze to her genital, having to open her legs quite a bit to do so (she made a sound when he did this, and when she realized what he was doing). And much like the videos he'd witnessed, he saw an... unusual assortment of flesh, moderately simulated and lightly wet so far. He had failed to understand what people found appealing about the female genital - he still failed.

But he didn't need to understand; he just needed to work with it, and as far as he saw, Kaname was not yet 'ready'. She was somewhat close, but would require further simulation.

"Sousuke?" Kaname breathed, panting a bit with red cheeks. "What are you do-Gah!"

His hand had touched her genital, lightly moving over it before he'd carefully pushed one finger inside. In preparation for this, he'd turned his head somewhat and closed his eyes, but he was still sweating and panting from the effort.

Despite all that though, the sensations he was feeling far outweighed any discomfort. Upon his entry, Kaname's genital had squeezed itself tightly around his finger, a hot wet _blur_ that made him gasp at such a thing, and quickly assuring himself this was not a conscious reaction; she was not doing this on purpose. Trying to focus, he 'dug around' as best he could, trying to memorize the sensations and what they meant against the information he'd read about. He distinctly felt the outer wall of her opening, a rougher part from above, and had nearly slipped to the outside edges more than once. So far, everything was in it's general place, but he needed to make sure they all were.

Even as he did so, Kaname squirmed and gasped from his digging, her face glaring red. And during some of his digging, she moaned and cried out - and he inexplicably _wanted_ to hear her utter those sounds _again_.

He worried if something was wrong with him, but this was no time for such questions!

Judging it was fairly time, he added a second finger to assist (Kaname screamed when this happened), all the while panting and sweating; he was beginning to feel the strain.

Near the end of his 'search', his fingers happened upon a small 'orb'-like object - and as soon as he touched it, Kaname's entire body had bucked, as evidenced by her cries. He paused, then slowly repeated the touch, with similar (maybe stronger) results that confirmed his suspicion. Feeling relieved that'd he located one of the two major 'pleasure spots', he returned to the upper 'rough' area, making Kaname's chest bounce from his efforts, though he did not see this. However, he did not hear or feel any significant reactions by Kaname from his search, so he reluctantly resolved that he had to go deeper.

His two fingers carefully pushed themselves in as far as they would go. Kaname screamed hard, startling him with the sheer pleasure he heard, as well as from volume.

He still forged on, striving to locate that elusive 'G spot', though why it was named such when little connected it to such a name would forever elude him. He knew it would not be apparent just from feel, so he tried to 'stroke' at the same time, but this was taking quite some effort. Kaname's sounds and moans assaulted him all the while, both chipping away at his composure, and stunning him with the fact that he was _enjoying_ them on some level.

"Ahaha!"

He paused, not moving his fingers. Was this the spot? He had felt a sudden few drops appear afterward, but was it a coincidence or not? Slowly, he 'stroked' the same spot where his fingers had been. Kaname's body jerked and she gasped, and suddenly the wetness became even wetter somehow, even as something had 'spurted' onto his fingers.

He again felt relieved, despite the sensation, and he noted the position of her spot; about 3 inches in, 0.125 centimeters to the left, and in an otherwise fairly innocuous location.

Despite knowing he wasn't done, he pulled his fingers out, needing some time to compose what was left of his resolve. As soon as he did so, Kaname's moan was out of pleasure and some reluctance, but was replaced by out-of-breath panting.

There were several things occupying his attention after that moment:

First was the matter of his fingers, which were coated in 'juices' and otherwise did not appeal to him, but he couldn't just wipe it on the bedsheets. Plus he hated to leave a stain on either of their bodies, but a 'twitch' from his genital struck him - didn't his genital need to be 'wet' too, for maximum ease in penetration? With heavy reluctance, he grasped his own hard genital, trying to work as much of the juices across it as possible. He hoped he wouldn't have to do this too often; it was not anything remotely in his expertise, or comfort.

Secondly, when he'd opened his eyes, he was startled by the sight he saw. Kaname lay on her bed, hair spread out from throwing her head back multiple times, arms and legs in a jumble, so to speak. She was panting heavily, eyes half-lidded and an expression that made him shiver slightly - he was startled, both that he shivered in the first place, and that he felt this was _actually a good thing!_

Third, when he slowly glanced at her genital, he saw that by all standards she was 'soaked'. He was stunned; he knew that what he'd done had been a simple inspection of sorts, surely inadequate, and not even a long length to the pleasuring. How was it possible that she was overflowing already?

Even as he struggled with all this, Kaname slowly stirred, though she continued to pant. "Sousuke" she breathed, looking at him, cheeks red and her expression 'hot' (for lack of any other word, and he wasn't even sure if it was the correct usage).

Her use of his name startled him out of his thoughts; it had been said in a tone that even he could only describe as 'wanting'.

"Sousuke" she breathed, lifting herself up and wrapping her arms around his neck, all in slightly jerky motions. "I love you."

She'd said it before, but all he did was continue to pant, as well as sweat.

"Sousuke" she breathed again, keeping her grip but also pushing herself closer, touching her wet genital just off-center of his own.

If he thought he'd been sweating before, it was nothing compared to now; the moment had finally arrived. He felt paralysis threaten to take him over, but with a grunt he fought it, hard. He was Sousuke Sagara, operator of the Arbalest, and student of Jindai Hight School; he would _no_t be subdued by this kind of panic response ever again, not while others depended on him to do his best. The resulting conflict made his blood boil-

-and Kaname must have noticed: "Sousuke-"

"I'm fine" he said in a hurry, nearly rasping. "...or I will be" he added more calmly, after a few moments.

He did not see or hear her reaction, but he did feel it when she moved closer... and when she kissed him.

He was startled; he felt the standard pleasure-glazed symptoms in her kiss, but for the most part, this one was soft and loving (as far as he could tell).

"I understand - take your time." she breathed, slowly hugging herself against him.

He was left sitting there, amazed quite frankly. They were both sitting up completely naked, even had her chest pressed against his, but suddenly he felt calm again - the strangeness and the newness of the sensations were still present, but he was still 'okay'. If he understood Kaname correctly, she'd wait for him to recover, even over her own wants. He felt slightly confused, as many of these events simply did not make sense from a logical point-of-view. However, he remembered that this activity had very little in connection to logic - it was essentially pure want, pure emotions, something he was still unfamiliar with.

He slowly breathed out - he was doing it again; slipping into that over-analysis 'mode'.

Gathering up what remained of his resolve, he slowly slipped his arms around Kaname's back, which seemed to surprise her, especially when he gently pulled her head from the crook of his neck. "Sousuke?" she breathed, making a muffled gasp when his lips touched hers, and when his hands slowly wondered over her breasts and genital at later points.

Even as he slowly 'pushed' Kaname forward, her really getting into the kiss, he felt that her body was still 'ready', despite the time that had gone on without stimulation. He wasn't sure how, but that wasn't required.

Kaname broke the kiss when her back hit her bed, and she looked at him, he looking back evenly. Several seconds passed, then she managed a smile, slowly wrapping her hands around the back of his head with red cheeks, as well as adjusting her open legs on either side of his frame.

Taking this as a sign, he moved one hand downward, slowly grasping himself again with reluctance - still, he found that without it, inserting himself correctly would have been difficult. Kaname reacted with a hitch when he prodded her entrance, and both of them started panting again for different reasons.

"Ugh, just do it already!"

For some strange reason, this sudden outburst relieved him; that was definitely Kaname right there.

He pushed himself forward slowly, and Kaname gasped, her grip tightening as she squirmed. He made an incoherent sound as well when her genital squeezed him with far greater force than he'd anticipated, rendering him incapable of comprehending anything except just how great this was! He went in as far as was allowed, an act that caused Kaname to cry out loudly, than start panting, with a mixture of both pleasure and pain. He thought he should adjust himself, but he remembered that moving at this stage would just make things worse - just in time too. So, he kept himself utterly still, trying to process everything, and failing.

Time passed slowly for him, but eventually, he noted that the pain aspect of Kaname's panting was disappearing. Then she gave a little cry that startled him: "Kaname?"

"Oh" she breathed in a strange tone, eyes half-lidded, but not aimed at him. "This feels really good, better than I ever imagined it to be..."

He realized she was talking to herself more than him, so he slowly thought to himself, then gave her a brief kiss. "I agree" he managed to say.

It took her a second to register this, then she looked at him. "Well? What are you waiting for?"

He did not know, but he didn't think she'd like an answer in this case - so he slowly planted his hands underneath his own frame, on either side of Kaname. Merely to test the motion, he slowly pulled out almost all the way and went 'back in' only slightly faster. It was an exceedingly simple motion, but the sensations strongly resurged, making his breath hitch imperceptibly (and Kaname to gasp). Still testing, he repeated this motion several times at a slow rate, with no pauses whatsoever - but even this gave him the urge to pant.

As he went along this test, Kaname squirmed and breathed out at his motions, one hand moving to where their bodies were joined. "Ah, Mmph."

If he interpreted that correctly, she desired more, and he knew he'd eventually have to comply if he was to accomplish his objective.

So he did.

* * *

Kaname cried out, panting even as her body bounced hard.

She never would have believed Sousuke was capable of this, or that he made her feel like she was on fire, even as she taught him about it! His every movement had been hesitant and unsure, but also calculating and part of a larger plan; she'd felt all of that and more from the moment they'd started. But yet again he surprised her, and she was overjoyed deep, deep down. But it was more than that - she was thoroughly enjoying this, and not just the pleasure; the fact that she could be openly soft and loving, something that had been denied her by her past.

If she weren't pleasure-glazed, she might have tried to keep it under by instinct. But she was.

All this passed through her brain in a second, and then another burst of pleasure rocked her, making her gasp.

She clung to Sousuke's neck as he worked, him grunting every now and then, but it made her blush. And after she got his rhythm down, she tried to return the favor, pushing her hips back and forth against him. Her first attempts failed miserably, but eventually she did it a few times in a row, and it surprised Sousuke - but he did not stop. Nor would she have allowed him to stop.

Gah! Oh that one felt good, and she tightened her grip around his neck.

How long this went on, she wasn't sure, but eventually she felt this becoming slightly worn - and Sousuke appeared not to notice.

"Stop" she rasped, crying out after that. "Sousuke, stop!"

Heavily startled, Sousuke did so. "Kaname-?" he breathed, as near a rasp as she'd ever heard from him.

"Flip me" she breathed out. The loss of his thrusts made her feel desperate; another thing she'd try to deny.

He looked at her, sweating, panting a little and utterly nonplussed. It wasn't until she's said "Positions!" that his expression had cleared somewhat, after a few seconds. Then he took her left leg and tried to pull it over to his left (her right), criss-crossing her legs, moving with a knowledge that he'd seen-but-not-tried-himself. His first two attempts made her cry out, as she didn't twist that way, but the third managed to turn her to her side. After that, she mostly turned herself over, now on her hands and knees. "Don't stop now!"

A slight 'Uh' from him, then he carefully gripped her hips, starting to move again after several long moments.

The pleasure she'd been feeling came back, only stronger and white-hot now.

Oh yes! Oh yes yes!

Crying out hard ("Ah!), she flung one hand back behind her, grasping twice before she managed a good grip on Sousuke's leg (the touch startled him). This made it even easier to push her hips back against Sousuke, sending thrills down her spine! Still, despite all the pleasure she was feeling, one aspect kept distracting her - her bouncing chest. Big as she was, it merely felt strange... her first instinct was to have Sousuke hold them, and be a win-win, but another told her that'd make it harder for him (smaller detail for later).

Luckily, she still had one free arm - so after a couple of unsteady tries, she managed to keep a grip on them. And as she did this, her back lifted up a bit, changing the angle a little and increasing her pleasure! Oh yes!

This went on for a long while. She'd thought/felt at some point that the positions should change again (maybe something a little more 'outrageous'), but she also felt that'd be another smaller detail in the way. Best keep it simple, she reluctantly decided amongst all the pleasure, somehow.

Eventually, Sousuke's 'thing' did something peculiar... which she realized was actually tightening.

"So-Ah! Mmph! Sousuke!" she cried out, panting. "Stop!"

She had to say it a second time for him to hear, but yet again, he was startled into stillness. This time he merely panted, but she didn't blame him - or really care at this point. "Position" she breathed out, also finding it hard to breathe, even as she turned to her side carefully. "Back to- to before."

He didn't respond, but after she'd turned to her side (a position that made their 'joining' extremely tight), he slowly worked with her leg again. This time, he'd only twisted her the wrong way once, and only slightly at that. When her back hit the bed, she looked up - and she saw his expression: a sweat that had nothing to do with temperature, and an expression that was beyond stunned, about the pleasure. She panted a little, then pulled him down into a kiss.

"Mmph" Sousuke breathed out in response to this.

"Go on. Now."

He slowly held her around the shoulders, and briefly broke their kiss before she desperately pulled him back down and would not let him go, to his surprise. After he registered this, the thrusts resumed after an eternity, making her gasp into his mouth (oh yes!). He did not attempt to remove his mouth again, but neither did he attempt to kiss her back - at least until she started sucking on his lip, which was hard during 'this'. During their uneven kiss, Sousuke continued to 'tighten', while she only felt a slightly-mounting pleasure, amidst the hot sensations.

Whether consciously or not, Sousuke's pace increased the closer he got, which caused her to gasp and cry out as he rammed into her. "Sousuke!"

He grunted, apparently frustrated about something. "Kaname" he breathed back.

She cried out, feeling him tighten even further - then hit his edge.

This sensation rocked Sousuke, causing him to gasp, his sudden size increase inside rubbing her the right way before he hurriedly withdrew. She couldn't help the desperate cry at that, only to slump against the bed, panting hard. Oh god, that had all felt so good!

Because of the sudden exhaustion, she couldn't move, and she couldn't see where Sousuke was... but she did feel it when the bed moved under his weight. After a moment, half-opening her eyes, she glanced to her left.

Sousuke lay beside her, his whole body in a sweat, and his (dazed) expression focused on something way beyond the ceiling.

"...You did it" she breathed softly, feeling all kinds of warm.

He blinked slowly, or did the motion. "I did not think such sensations existed before" he whispered faintly.

She found his hand, somehow, and squeezed it. "But you've learned" she whispered.

"I have" he answered, slowly turning to look at her, only to stop. "I am... I am falling asleep."

"...huh?"

His voice got a touch of confusion, and his eyes started to close, which he struggled against. "I can't fall asleep now" he muttered to himself, increasingly faint. "I still have many q-questions to ask, and things... to do..."

All that followed after that was the sound of his breathing. His eyes stayed closed.

Unable to process this, she just looked at Sousuke, still feeling a subdued warm.

Before she fell asleep though, she remembered saying something playful, something along the lines of: "I always thought I'd be the one who fell asleep first..."

* * *

**Even during this, Sousuke's core being will never change lol**

**Still, we're almost done here, so one left to go.**


	12. First Day

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of Full Metal Panic's series, or it's characters**

**Rating: M**

**Takes place after The Second Raid, anime/OVA only, but with a few nods to events from the manga. Sousuke is more-or-less the same, and Kaname should be the same, but she'll be a bit quicker to her softer side in some cases - and that might translate to somewhat out-of-character depending on your point-of-view lol. Will be a fairly long story, but will only start to show it after the first few chapters.**

* * *

_The next day; 2 months total  
__1 day from school's start_

Kaname worked to prepare lunch, but still felt worried. She glanced at the clock for the seventh time:

10:53

Sousuke still hadn't woken up.

Before, she probably would have chalked this up as a rare, yet worthy opportunity to make fun of his military upbringing failing him. Now she was just concerned; had it really taken THAT much effort out of him?

Even that indirect 'it' made her cheeks turn red though; everything was fuzzy, but the sensations were still _very_ vivid. Sousuke hadn't been half-bad, and with what little experience he had, had made her feel really good. If he could just use that calculating and planning nature of his even better, he'd do well - but she knew having him go for a loving touch would take even more effort. And so far, the 'stains' had been the only thing that'd annoyed her after she woke up, even after discovering she felt a little 'weird' down there, but the rest simply made her heart beat faster. How was she going to say all this to his face though, if he even asked her how it had felt for her?

Eventually, she came out of it, and was startled to hear the shower running - then she just felt relieved. It wasn't too long before Sousuke himself came out, in 'civilian' uniform, with only his hair damp. She noted that he looked the same as he usually did, and acted much the same, expression included - but still, his feelings about last night must be swirling around in there somewhere, deep down.

"Kaname" he said evenly. "Thank you for allowing me to use your shower."

"You're welcome" she said softly, after a moment. She placed her hands behind her back, still worried. "Are you okay?"

"If you're referring to my health, I am fine." he answered, which made the corner of her lip curl. Then he slowly glanced to the side: "If however, you are referring to 'last night' - I do not know."

"You mean, you haven't recovered yet?"

"Not fully" he admitted. "And my 'sleeping in' is a serious concern-"

_"Of course it is"_ she thought, mentally giggling.

He continued: "-but also, I am conflicted."

Jolted, she stepped closer. "What does that mean?"

He looked at her evenly, military-still. "Kaname, I was not able to bring you to the... 'peak' last night." he continued, distinctly uncomfortable for a moment.

She made a little sound, and her cheeks heated up, glancing to the side. She said nothing, merely held a hand to her chest.

"I think that this means that I've failed to please you." he continued faintly. "However, I, uh - I 'feel' like that is not the case. Which is it?"

She fidgeted a bit. "Well uh-" she breathed, before clearing her throat. "If you weren't able to do so nine times out of then, or similar 'numbers', then it would mean you're failing, Sousuke. But - well -"

She trailed off, but Sousuke was patient.

Her hand slowly became a fist over her chest. "But this was only the first time" she continued, rather softly. "Not only is it rare to happen then, but my own body was working against us, because I'd never done... 'that' before."

Sousuke's expression cleared somewhat. "I see" he said mildly, glancing up. "So the first time is generally restricted to a test; it cannot be perfected, no matter the effort. Correct?"

A few seconds passed, then she sighed. "More-or-less" she said faintly, then stepped closer. "But still, it's not exactly a good thing if you use the same technique to bring a girl to the, uh, 'peak'."

He blinked, nonplussed. "Why is that?"

"Because, as we experience it over and over and over again, our body gets used to it" she said carefully, making sure he got it, getting more confident as she went on. "That translates to less pleasure, and less pleasure leads to a vicious cycle that will eventually make it impossible to reach that peak. This applies to doing the same routines, the same actions every single time as well; they lead to a vicious cycle."

He looked troubled, and he turned away for a time. "I did not realize intimacy had such a trap" he said, then looked at her. "I would have preferred it if I could use the same routine each time, but you've made it clear that is not possible."

"Just don't get the wrong idea" she said, more gently this time, briefly confusing him. "When I say same routine, I mean every single little thing being the exact same. If you suddenly did something different, my body would be surprised because that's not routine. And surprise leads to stronger reactions."

He was sweating at the imagery (she was assuming), but he appeared to consider her words. "And this 'shifting' routine," he asked slowly, "it applies to all aspects of intimacy, does it not?"

"I believe so" she answered.

"Including changing positions?"

"Yeah."

"Ah."

After that, they entered a bit of a silence, neither quite sure what to say. It was clear that despite the lack of blush, their hearts were still racing in different ways due to what they were talking about, even in circles.

Until: "Did you, uh, like it?" she asked, very very shyly.

Judging by Sousuke's increased sweating, he knew _exactly_ what she meant, and there were hints of his familiar panic. However, after ten seconds of this, a thought seem to strike him and he became calm again, much to her surprise. She watched as he slowly came closer, feet away in fact, looking at her with a strange intensity. And more than that, he started to lean forward, and not just his head. She wanted to gasp at what she was seeing, but she didn't want to disrupt this, not one bit.

She slowly closed her eyes, opening her lips - and Sousuke's kiss was just as great as the others. After about ten seconds, he pulled away a foot, hands resting on her arms.

Her cheeks were pink. "I'll take that as a 'yes', Sergeant" she said mildly, feeling she could wait for the full explanation, even piece-by-piece if she had to.

He slowly nodded, relieved. "You have my gratitude, Kaname."

She merely smirked, and pulled him back in, his confused surprise making her feel warmer.

When she pulled away, he looked at her, blinking. "That is a strange reaction to gratitude" he merely said.

"For you" she corrected, still smirking. "For anyone else, it makes perfect sense, because that was my answer to the same question."

He opened his mouth, then closed it as he pieced together what that meant. "You mean, that you also liked it?" he asked slowly.

She merely smirked more.

* * *

_The next day; 2 months total_  
_School's started_

The two of them walked together, Sousuke's pack slung over his shoulder with one arm, and her bag in both hands. She was just slightly behind him as they went along.

And she had to admit, though she subtly felt the 'freedom/ease of movement' thing Sousuke mentioned, she was more amazed by the subtle difference in _feel_. Somehow, instead of the rather bland feel of her old uniform, this felt more soft, almost like a cloud. But was that even his doing, or just a happy coincidence? She discreetly looked at him, trying to decide.

"Hey, Sousuke-"

She breathed out; a targeting laser had appeared over his cheek.

She should have yelled something, but Sousuke was faster, both in realizing it was there and looking toward it's source. "Just ignore it" he said, continuing to walk, sounding disapproving.

But he only went three steps when he realized she wasn't following.

She was in shock. "What?" she breathed, unable to say much more.

Sousuke, laser pointers of any kind and "Just ignore it" did not go together.

"Kaname?" he questioned, turned toward her.

"How - how can you stand there and say 'just ignore it'?" she demanded.

"Because the perpetrator is Wraith, not an enemy" he said, not missing a beat.

She opened her mouth... and then promptly sweat-dropped, with a stupid expression, she was sure. "But why!?"

"As this is the third overall attempt, I can only conclude he is trying to mess with me" he said, looking off into the distance, where she thought Wraith might be. "After all, he is constantly exposed to the elements, which must not be entirely pleasant."

"Oh." she said, rather put off. "Gah, damn that woman and her nerve!"

Sousuke blinked. "Woman?" he asked, nonplussed.

She started, realizing he might have never known that about Wraith (hell, she was just plain unlucky to have seen it happen). "Uh, the night with my assassin-" she said, faltering for a moment. "Wraith was hit, and after things were over... there was this big gap over the eye, peeled back like metal."

"Full body suit?" Sousuke wondered, sorta to himself. "Voice disguiser?"

"Probably."

There was silence between them, during which she noticed that the laser targeter was _still_ covering Sousuke's face, the target himself preceding to ignore it entirely. She just felt uncertain, knowing this was not at all like how he'd normally react; was something wrong with him?

"Interesting reveal" he mused, then turned toward her. "But in either case, 'Wraith' has failed to provoke me, and I do wish either of us to be late. Shall we go?"

After a moment, she smiled. "Sure."

Sousuke turned to go, during which time she snuck a quick eyelid-pull taunt in Wraith's direction, complete with tongue out - then she hurried after Sousuke.

* * *

_School yard_

_"I'll betcha Sousuke's gotten even more paranoid, and merely looking at him would have him aim a gun at you."_  
_"Nah, even he wouldn't do that. Then again, he wouldn't know love if it shot him."_  
_"If that happened, he'd know love, but see it as an enemy."_  
_"If anyone could kill love, it's that guy."_

Kyoko heard all this, and sighed; boys and their wild theories. So far they've included:

_*Sousuke becoming more trigger-happy, and being run out of the country_  
_*Kaname being more aggressive (because of Sousuke)_  
_*Sousuke having lost his memory, thus no knowledge to blow stuff up_  
_*Kaname had gone completely soft_

And more outlandish ones as well. They were getting ridiculous, really.

But they weren't done: _"Hey, why don't we get the freshman to attack Sousuke when he comes? The perfect initiation!"_

_"We want to initiate him, not kill him!"_

_"That guy doesn't kill unless they're trying to kill him; that won't be the case. And while we're at it, use that new laser pen to make him paranoid."_

"You boys will regret that" she said cheerfully, just loud enough that they heard.

They were startled, but otherwise appeared dubious of her warning - oh well, their loss.

And soon enough, the small crowds gathered in front of the school soon noticed the two of them approaching (she took this opportunity to take a few pictures). However, when she looked at the taken pictures, she was surprised: Sousuke and Kaname were holding hands.

Ooo, that was juicy news right there!

/

"Tell me again, why are we holding hands in public?"

"Because I like it" she answered mildly. "If anyone has a problem with it, they can answer to me. I'm not gonna let other people's opinions stop me."

"Hmm" he breathed in response, thinking it over.

"Wait - do you not like it?" she asked, looking at him, slightly worried.

"I did not say that" he said in response, looking at her. "Though there is a slight worry that it might draw unwanted jealousy from other guys, which could lead to numerous problems."

"I think we'll be fine" she answered mildly back, passing the first group of people, who were stunned yet whispering among themselves. "I mean really, what's the worst that could hap-"

She stopped; just as she'd raised her hand, a small red dot had moved over her palm.

Sousuke noticed this, glanced behind him to the left (where it originated), then went back to looking forward after a moment. "There is no danger."

"...why?" she asked, after a moment.

"That beam was emitted from a 635nm red laser pointer" he continued evenly, both of them having stopped walking for now. "It is incapable of being used as a weapon, and presents no danger."

She didn't answer for a few seconds. "Wow" she breathed, genuinely amazed at this, starting to pull him along again. "You really have changed."

"How so?" he questioned, looking at her, both of them approaching the school doors.

"Well normally, you'd see the laser pointer, or something that was slipped into your locker, or whatever it was and just assume it was a weapon" she said, with some annoyance as she recalled those incidents. It passed quickly though: "And now, you actually look before you assume, like figuring out those laser sights were from Wraith and an ordinary laser pointer instead of a enemy, for one thing."

"As I understand it, that is is very good."

"More than that" she exclaimed lightly, stopping just outside the doors, turning toward him. "It's the subtle difference you've lacked all of last year!"

"Then I am indeed fortunate to have gotten your instruction, Kaname." he said softly.

This left her suddenly tongue-tied. "Uh, thanks" she whispered, feeling happy, and was about to say something else - however, a flicker of movement caught her eye.

"Sousuke watch out!" she yelled, at the same time as "Sorry about this, dude!" was yelled.

Sousuke turned to face his 'attacker', an unknown freshman armed with nothing more than a paper fan. He did not react even as his assailant got closer and closer, raise his hand high and-

SMACK!

He had struck Sousuke's head dead-center, with little effect.

Kaname stood there frozen, somewhere between horror at the situation, and what-the-hell anger at this bastard!

Sousuke merely turned his head back, expression the same. "Initiation ritual?" he asked after a moment, as if nothing had happened, to which the man nodded. "Then you have passed. Congratulations." he continued approvingly, which pleased the young man, and he ran off to who knew where.

She watched him go with a stupid expression; what had just happened!?

The courtyard was, frankly, stunned; this was _not_ the same Sousuke from last year, who would have reacted to both incidents with all kinds of weapons aimed and fired.

Sousuke turned toward her. "Shall we go inside?" he asked evenly.

"Who _are_ you!?"

She made a horrified sound after she said it; both asking herself how she could have possibly asked that even with the earlier worry, and scared about how Sousuke might take it.

Sousuke blinked, and he started to look confused, before a thought struck him. In fact, this inexplicably seemed to make him aware of the stunned gazes of their schoolmates. "They do not acquaint me as the same Sousuke they remember, do they" he said mildly, after a time.

"Well" she said mildly, with some bluster. "Can you blame them? _I'm_ not even sure you're the same person, and I've been with you the whole time!"

"Hmm. Then perhaps I should make it clear to them" he said mildly, then faced the crowds, putting his hands behind his back (letting go of her own hand to do so).

"Classmates, you must be terribly confused by my new behavior. Well I can tell you this: I am still Sousuke Sagara of Jindai High School, in charge of waste disposal and umbrellas until further notice. I simply have a new understanding that I lacked before, and thus I am less prone to misunderstandings. This means that the number of incidents, bombings, and any other disturbances I have caused in the past is far less likely now."

He appeared about to say something else, but seemed to think better of it. "That is all" he concluded, turning away from the crowds.

She started giggling, then laughing, the worry starting to evaporate; so he was suddenly a little different, not really a big deal right? "Okay, that speech arrangement is _definitely_ you, for sure" she said, hand over her mouth.

"I am glad you liked it" he said agreeably, hands behind his back. "Though... there is one thing I left out."

"Huh?" she breathed, still shaking a little from laughter.

He paused, slowly breathing. "A sentence as such: And in addition, I have discovered a newly-found-out love for Miss Kaname Chidori of Jindai High" he stated, with some small signs of effort.

She gasped, cheeks turning red and her eyes shining.

He did not notice until five seconds later: "I thought about saying that, but I did not think it was approp- did this upset you, Kaname?" he asked, confused.

This jolted her, and she quickly shook her head. "N-Not at all!" she said quickly. "Just surprising - very surprising, and maybe embarrassing, and uh, a little flattering."

His expression eased a little, then he stepped forward, placing his hands at her shoulders slowly. At first she was surprised, but then she settled for liking his soft touch.

"Would you like to kiss?"

She blinked, her cheeks still red. "What?" she breathed, not sure she heard correctly. "Why?"

"Since rumor is already circulating about our hand-holding-" he continued evenly, like this was normal. "-and we cannot keep 'us' a secret for long, would you like to confirm their suspicions?"

She saw how close he was suddenly, and her heart beat faster. "What, here?" she asked shyly. "In front of everyone?"

"It is not a problem."

This time, he kissed her without prompt - slowly, rather hesitantly (hey, it was Sousuke), but still. And she couldn't have enjoyed it more, not giving a damn about the others erupting at this new development, or Kyoko taking a lot of pictures. Who really cared about all that anyway?

* * *

**And done :) As far as wrap-ups go, probably not the best, but I think it works. Also, there's the other nod to the manga, literally a few sentences above this one lol.**

**Anyway, definitely my longest original one, at least at this time ;)****  
**


End file.
